i started pixiv.
username : valdam

https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=17937947

Super nice, thanks a lot for all the effort and sharing, it's a great one :)

Base +42, aszccdd +13, Arlinath +6, carson911 +6, Darakusen +3, monara4444 +1

예전에 루리웹에서 김삿갓으로 활동하시던 분 아닌가요

Base +6

as always but.. why low rating? why people hate my comics?
others as same as mines are rating is good
despite it is include crossdress or yaoi or gay.

i think i just receive unfair output and reply because i dont know why
people hate me or my comic. that's all. just hating. especially korean.

Last edited on 31 May 2018, 15:34.

Base +5, carson911 +6, Darakusen +3

@valdam - /g/1231614/0c8404b6fc/ Dude, it's not just you, don't let it get under your skin. Yaoi is a niche fetish and it just draws a lot of bashing, that's all it is, don't let it bother you :)

Base +42, Darakusen +3

@svines85 - yes, i know that too. but I saw 1.6 score ! I already understand this atmosphere about trans/yaoi. but 1.6 score is too low like a fail !!! even if it`s not snuff ot guro.
anyway, thanks for yor kind words.

Base +5

The star ratings don't level out for 24-48 hours or so, the system culls anything that's out of line (like .5 ratings), so you can't really tell for sure what it's gonna be until then. Yeah, any trap-yaoi that isn't a big-name artist will get a lower rating (more in line with traditional yaoi), don't let it bother you :)

Base +42

I want you to keep posting these, but since you are requesting reasons why you might be getting lower ratings, here's some feedback:
- Your first five panels are of someone peeing in a non-erotic way. (I think? This isn't my thing so maybe I'm missing something) That's the first 20% of the comic about taking a leak. If that's what you're going for, great, but then it's something that's a niche of a niche and you're going to need to expect lower ratings from people who aren't into that.
- The action is kinda oddly paced. It looks like the character is peeing during sex a bit, then a whole page devoted to a classroom sign, then a bit more fucking. Maintaining a sense of place and continuity of action is fucking hard and an underappreciated aspect of the craft.
- I like your hazy, sketchy, occasionally dreamlike art style, but it's not going to be to everyone's taste. What sucks here is that you're going to be compared to works from professional artists, which is a really hard comparison to stand up to.
- It sounds like you actually have some haters out there. It sucks, but they're going to keep following you around and downvoting you. I mean this in the nicest way, but if them doing that makes you not enjoy posting these, then you should stop posting them. There's no way to make them leave, unfortunately.

I like your stuff, and it seems like it's helping you process some shit around your relation to gender, self-loathing, and a desire to be desired. I'd encourage you to keep it up, and I hope you can get some value out of all this dumb text :)

Base +6, OrangeRedFF4500 +6, Darakusen +3, Kotovsky +6, elkaJ +6

@valdam
Your art sucks. Git gud

Base +6, Shemmy -6, VeryThirstyPanda -5, 40tkii +6, Darakusen -3, Encuilion -9

@svines85 / @Digdug Fanatic
i understand. in short, after 48 hour rating can be modified.
i know the limit about trap/yaoi but some (good) artist are not included that
i envy them and their skills.

@sheruu
that means you are sucks too because speaking like that sound.
trashs always do like a trash. it's disgust. get away and fucking with your mom.

Last edited on 01 June 2018, 03:46.

Base +5, Shemmy +6, Darakusen +3

Hey @valdam!
I don't usually post comments in here but seeing as you were asking for feedback I decided to give it a go. This might be a long comment.
If I had to give you a single reason as to why your work is usually downvoted and/or has a low score is because it's really oddly paced, there's close to no sense or story and there's a lack of consistency on your drawings. If you don't want to read everything for whatever reason just go to the end to the "If you want to improve your work"

Usually in a doujinshi you have some sort of story or an element that makes the story happen, this usually doesn't take more than 2 or 3 pages since the reader might get bored and go to another one that gives the experience they desire faster. So, I must ask you. What's the setup here? You got a crossdressing teacher pissing on the men's bathroom for no apparent reason. Give us some background, who are these characters, why does the teacher crossdress, why does she go to the men's bathroom instead of the girl's. These are questions that if not answered will break the immersion of the reader and just not enjoy it that much. So that's your setup, if you have an interest in showing how she pees then great! That's what you wanted to show but if not you gave the reader close to 6 pages where we see the mc just pissing. Then we get to the first sex/action scene which is probably the better paced part. You show lots of different angles and interesting perspectives so I would say this is overall pretty good. Then we arrive at page 14 where we're shown a classroom sign and here it gets all fucky, you get some sort of 69 scene that lasts less than a page, then you show a very rough drawing of an empty classroom that isn't really good. You have a good image of the sex and then more random classroom objects. Then from page 17 to the end it's alright except for the fact that she was just raped but now she fell in love with the student even though the only connection they had all trought the book is they had sex in two different places, so the story doesn't really make sense. What was the endgame? Why was this history so important you had to show it on a doujinshi?

Now onto some lesser details, Drawing incosistency, this isn't something most people take lightly but it is really important. You see i've read a lot of doujinshis, and when I say a lot I mean way too many. This is something very common so you shouldn't feel bad about it.I'm gonna go page by page here so pay attention. Let's start from the beginning shall we?
First of the cover, you show the teacher and the student, you show her seating on the toilet, cum on her legs and full black clothing (top,skirt,panties,pantyhose), she also has a necklace; we don't see much of the student other than he's wearing the usual school jacket (black). Then we get to page 3 and what do we see? Our teacher with Different clothing! She's wearing a white top, no necklace,white thong, stockings. So pretty much everything changed on her dress from the cover. False advertising. Also in this page her dick is somewhat more greyish than her body, i've seen you do this in some of your other work, i'm not a fan of it but if you like it I can't stop you. Also I would like to point out the position of the toilet bowl as this will be important later on. (right next to the wall)
Page 4 some garters appear out of nowhere. Page 5 is now in color for some reason, garter belts change position and we see that a toilet bowl also appear on the left of the teacher. So with this info we can say first that: The toilet bowl in which she was peeing moved since it was next to a wall, that wall just dissapeared, the toilet is not actually in a cubicle (First of all there's nowhere in the entire world where you just see a toilet bowl in the middle of the bathroom, usually those are in cubicle, an enclosed area that normally gives privacy to the user) The drawing of the teacher on the down right is way too similar to the big one to not be copied, also her hair changes color. Page 6: Garters change color and position again, also the thong she's wearing is now coping her balls instead of to the side, a wall to the right of her appears. Page 7: walls dissapear again, clothing changes entirely, and we get to see the male student who isn't even using the clothing from the cover. (black school jacket).
And now one if not the page that bothers me the most, Page 8. There's just so much wrong with this page, first of all you actually just copied the page from your own work: "Josoko Kyoushi Satsujinjiken - Crossdressing Teacher's Murder Case" page 25, you didn't even bother to CHANGE THE URINALS INTO TOILETS. Her clothing changed once again and some panels are colored but some aren't?
Page 9 is alright, the student loses some details on his shirt but at least the teacher has the same clothing as last page. Then Page 10 and we're back to an enclosed area where there are walls again.
Page 11 is good aswell, I would suggest against coloring sperm with yellow but whatever, also I would suggest drawing the bodies so they don't just end there.
Page 12 is too much of a rough sketch and looks unfinished and unprofessional. Page 13 sensei changes clothes again, you open her top on the second image and then in the third one it's closed again, also way too much white space in here. Page 14 is just a change of space, I would suggest adding more to it, maybe make it a multi panel image where you get to show the chairs/tables you show on later pages
Page 14 is the 69 scene which has weird anatomy but it's passable, we can clearly see that it's too tables connected and not just one huge table so props for that.
Page 16 is a mess, you already showed that they we're having intercourse so why take us out of the action with some exposition shots, unless you're trying to say that the teacher is looking around to distract herself. Page 17 has the problem that the student has put on his pants again even if the teacher is still there with her penis exposed. Then page 18 is alright nothing much to say and finally page 19 is great giving us a warm and sweet ending. The next 3 pages are just covers for what i guess are Litmus, this one and Satsujinjiken, and finally your pixiv page

If you want to improve your work, this is what I would suggest in the future:
-Add some sort of story/background to the scene so the reader can kind of connect with what is happening. like 2 or 3 pages is fine.
-Shorten the fetish scenes (peeing)
-Show us the classroom with some dialogue before they start fucking not while, this way it doesn't feel intrusive to the action and doesn't bother so much of what you want to show.
-Don't be scared to lengthen some scenes, like the "69 scene", if it's gonna be just one page then why bother adding it.
-Make sure that everything that you drew is consistent with the drawing before hand, clothing setting.
-When changing areas, make sure to add some exposition shots so that the reader can understand the change of setting and the props that can be used there.
-Give us more dialogue! Most of the time when reading a doujinshi you're not here for just mindless fucking you're here for a story or something at least, let us see what she's thinking while getting raped, or add more dialogue between the characters.
-If you're gonna color some pages make sure what you're coloring is relevant/climatic to the story or just don't bother with it.
-Don't copy panels from your other artwork/work it just feels lazy and not worth it at all in the end.
-First Impressions are KEY, if your cover isn't good/doesn't really show what the doujinshi is about then you're gonna get bad scores instantly.
-Learn from other artist (don't copy them), reading some doujinshis will get you some experience on how things have to be shown and overall give you some experience while drawing yours.

I think that's about it, overall this is probably way too long and I apologize for that but as someone that has devoted way too much time to this I believe that It's my turn to give back in the way I can. Maybe i'll edit this post in some days if I think of something else. I hope it helps and you don't see it has "Oh god just another hater hating on my work for no reason" because as I probably showed i've already read most of your work and I'm not hating, i'm just trying to help out and give some constructive criticism

Base +6, Darakusen +3

There is, quite literally, nothing else I can say that hasn't already been said, especially by the guy above me.

If you want to blame the fact that you think people rate it low because you are 'korean' and just not improve and keep that poor mindset, that's fine.

If you want to realize that there is a lot of good stuff in your comics, but a lot to improve on as well, and that these scores are reflective of multiple factors and you want to strive to improve your stories and art...

Well, that's fine too. First path is easier. Second path is harder, but more rewarding. Your choice.

Base +13

@Rglass
i really want a feedback like yours. really thanks.
and that's true i used source in my past one because i think this is flexible
of course, i dont play that as always.

@aleden
i explain about korean. that means not people blame me i am a korean
the fact is some koreans who doesnt like this kind comic blamed me
they hate and blame and threaten me using reply.. then i kicked off my korean site.
after that moment i moved ehentai but some koreans do it again continuously. its not ended. someone send me dirty mail using korean word.
that is a fact.

by the way, how about this cover? i put a lot of effort making cover image.

Base +5, Syerathe +13

@valdam

My bad. I think something was lost in translation. I misinterpreted what you said to say that people disliked your stuff because you were Korean. When it turns out it was the other way around, which is unfortunate.

I'm sorry you're being harassed by some Koreans. I'm sure you know we are much more open on e-hentai. There are many fans of yaoi, tomgirls, and so on. I can't say the harassment will stop but I can say we are at least a little bit more welcoming here

Base +13

Great work man! keep it up!

Base +1