Dear Lord, the English! Reminds me of Duwang. "I am wood. stupid." Is this intentionally bad English? It mostly feels as if someone took a normal English text and searched random synonyms to insert that absolutely don't fit. Most of it can be understood, aside from the grammar. A bit of a shame, the art is pretty good. Get a beta or something, I'm sure someone would do it for free.
Base +9, nignogwindything +6, WaRiUr +10, DaisyChains +1