RAW: /g/1413713/9c089dee40/
Never translated before so sorry for errors and messy text.
Left some of the sfx bubbles as they were were since I could not figure how to make them look nice/what to put there.

I advise you to at least reread your work before uploading.

p6:
hagikaze's
breats -> breasts
though -> thought
p7:
painfull -> painful
litte -> little
paintful -> painful
hagikazes -> hagikaze's
smells so good -> smell so good
p8:
I'll go down -> ?? does this mean
commanders -> commander's
does my heartbeat your you as well? -> ??????
p10:
it's not good you your penis -> it's not good for your penis
let my properly -> let me properly

a lot more typos and awkward grammar on the other pages as well.
I recommend going to the e-hentai forums scanlator forum and asking there for help, maybe you can get a proofreader there to assist with future translations.
https://forums.ehentaihip.cc/index.php?showforum=81

cheers!

Base +5, DarkTemplarXIII +6, Coach McGuirk +6, IonicTHI +7, see-eff +6, Glovelove. +18