Cute.   

Base +8, bigscuba +5, Pusoboro +6, SkullGhost +9, kamisking +6, openminded20 +6

Very lovely story.

Base +6, bigscuba +5, SkullGhost +9, kamisking +6, Fills +6, openminded20 +6

Former delinquent and delinquent falling in love... Nice romance and something we need more of...
Always a treat to see a newly translated piece by Simon
Thanks for sharing

Base +31, bigscuba +5, SkullGhost +9, kamisking +6, panser32 +6, Fills +6, openminded20 +6, as102 +10

I like how realistically the legs are drawn

Base +6, SkullGhost +9, MrSquigglesIAm +6, jsnormandy +10, propanoate +6

This is pure af it was nice.

Base +6

Pretty cute story and I also like the art style, very sharp and clean looking.

Base +2

So maaany wrong translations.

Her name is Toosaki, not Toosasa.

Page 1 bottom left corner. The one making a monologue was the girl, not the guy. She said "Why am I so irritated? Maybe because he's the only man that ever rejected me."

Page 2 when they were kids, he didn't say she's annoying, he said "it's impossible. (for her to play baseball)"

Page 3 "The gentle onii-chan I yearned for is no longer here" should be "The naive me who clinged to the onii-chan I yearned for is gone."

Page 5 Top right corner. "What am I paying with you" should be "You got your comeuppance".

Page 5 top mid "It's because you dressed up and went out late at night, right after I lectured you."

There's a lot more, but I'm too lazy to list them down all. Most mistakes are misunderstanding who speaks which. The girl is the one mostly speaking monologues. I normally don't check for translation accuracy but when it's this obvious I can't help but look at the raws.

EDIT:

I just noticed the defloration tag, and I'm not sure if she's really a virgin, since she admitted to dating someone before. Some context taken from source material, not this translation.

Page 11, she says that "I don't really like the taste and smell of semen." then in page 12 "How vexing, are you going to change that (the fact that she doesn't like the smell and taste of semen) as well?".

Page 16, she felt hesitant to take his virginity, since she may feel that she does not deserve it. Said it's too heavy for her, in a figurative sense.

Page 17, she thought to herself "What is this, did sex really feel this way. Is it because he's not wearing a condom?" Implying she had not so good sexual experiences before.

Page 24, she said she hasn't shown herself like that to others (implying that she hasn't really enjoyed sex as much before, and hasn't shown herself drown in pleasure like that to her other partners). Then proceeds to cry saying I WANTED to give you my virginity too. Past tense, which means she already lost it long ago.

Add to that the fact that she pretty much guided the guy throughout the process, and she seemed to be used to blowing and stuff.

Doesn't matter though, just makes the whole thing even sweeter.

Last edited on 10 May 2020, 09:18.

Base +6, dankestdungeon +18, ImmortalDreamer +6, remembereverything +10, Cube +14, Franco0585 +12, RyogoTM +12, Warrior90 +8, KumagawaM +6, IncognitoMaud +6, freudia +35, skeksis +7, reijiame +6, and 31 more...

If the fact that you can't get the girl's name straight, even though there are furigana (helpers), is not a proof that this is MTL, I don't what it is.
Thanks @xg70d for pointing that out.

@more
I... I'll go to your school...! > I... I passed the exam for the school where you are going.
Really? > Seriously?
You still have some years to go before that. > You could go to a better place, if you wanted to.
You're my onii-chan... so I... > It's because... you are there...
You won't say that forever, ya know? > How long do you plan to keep saying such childish things?
One day you're gonna bring a guy back. > You won't find a man, you know?

Yeah, complete garbage translation.

Base +16, dankestdungeon +18, ImmortalDreamer +6, remembereverything +10, Cube +14, Warrior90 +8, KumagawaM +6, IncognitoMaud +6, skeksis +7, Megaton +45, Juggernaut Santa -29, smt nocturne +20, Luke78 +12, and 3 more...

@Bulopu: I'm not convinced it's MTL. That kanji doesn't have a reading of "Toosasa." However, the furigana for how to read her name, if you don't look at it carefully enough with your eyes, could read as "Toosasa" because the hiragana "ki" is pretty tiny.

So while I'm 100% on board with this being a very poor-quality translation worthy of the rewrite tag, a machine didn't fuck up the kanji for her name, a human being just failed at reading hiragana.

@daimmo3dma: But if we assume that, why go with the hiragana rather than the kanji? A machine wouldn't fuck up the kanji. Either way, as I already said, I agree that whoever translated this doesn't know what they're doing and has no business translating Japanese to English, let alone charging commissions, I'm only pointing out that they managed to mess up worse than a machine probably would have in the specific instance xg70d brought up.

Last edited on 11 May 2020, 23:04.

Base +16, KumagawaM +6, Korgal +6, funk_u_up +13, GearZeroSky +19, sigo8 +25, disposable.respect +6

@Nomake Wan the furigana in the raw is small enough for OCR to mistake the き as さ though.
It's not excusable either way since even if you gave the translator that benefit of doubt of not using MTL, someone who doesnt know how to read the name 崎 is simply too inexperienced to be translating.

↓ a honest-to-god japanese person speaking btw

Last edited on 11 May 2020, 00:17.

Base +8, Megaton +45, GearZeroSky +19, Juggernaut Santa -29, Luke78 +12, disposable.respect +6, Piramyd +7, jsnormandy +10

how the fuck is this a commission

I hope they get their money back.

Base +11, Rinkles +1, GearZeroSky +19, Juggernaut Santa -29, Luke78 +12, Hyoros -13, Hitsuyou-H +31, jjaysenea2003 +6, propanoate +6

Defloration? This girl is clearly used up slut.

Base +6, Rinkles -1, sirskyrider -8, Fills -6, poomrapea -6, CyborgSamurai +6, FreeMan1231 +7, Kazuar +7, Juggernaut Santa -29, LearnJPwithH -7, joostvan +6, Hyoros -13, BrianTT -6, and 13 more...

I just love these vanilla stories. Those romantical ones without airheads and plain stupid people.

Base +6, sirskyrider +8, joker901 -8, Ryhe -6