Hmm, the concept is nothing new but that's not really the point since most hentai stories are meant for two things: entertainment and masturbation material.
The art is quite nice and I like Sydney Savage's design. For the story, I would've liked to see a little more of the 'breaking' rather than Sydney just giving in so quickly. I'm also not sure of the tranquilizer since the point of humiliating and subjugating women in these stories is for them to be aware of their sexual torture and to break from it. The shock collar is a classic addition so I like that. I also like the idea of Sydney being made a stripper rather than just instantly being put in the prostitute role.
However, this is your story, so what you believe goes. These are just my initial thoughts so far. Thank you for sharing your idea by uploading this btw.