Posted on 05 September 2020, 02:21 by: GinIchimaru72
Uploader Comment
Hi, my name is Gin and this is my first comic about Touhou Project, I hope you like it! You can see my other drawings here >>> https://twitter.com/Gin_Ichimaru72
Minor nitpick, when translating, you dropped (or rather more probably not written in) personal pronouns. Rule of thumb in english is where there's a verb there has to be a pronoun, so '...It tends to look weak and dying' 'When Okuu is hungry, She scares me.). Other than that, on the first page you're talking about something that had happened before something else has happened. That calls for either Past Perfect "We had lived quietly, until that day (...happened)" Or Present Perfect "We have lived quietly until this day (-very recently, like just yesterday-)". Also this conjunction: "But since (past simple),(past perfect continuous)" on the same page, it sounds wrong to me when I read it, but I can't imagine how a proper one would sound like, so it may be the proper one after all, I can't know. The translation and the comic are both great, good job on all fronts, although I imagine that shading with contour and crosshatching was a pain in the ass, if pretty. I wonder though, why doesn't Komeiji just slit the animal's throat or incapacitate it in another way beforehand(Or if she's too squeamish, have somebody do it for her).