I couldn't find any translations for these series past a certain point, so I went ahead and translated one of the chapters that I liked. If there's any mistakes feel free to point them out, and I'll try to fix them.

Your scanlation definitely could use some work. Your pages are severely bloated, at 65.57 MB for something that should be less than a third of the size, because they're RGB color instead of Greyscale. Assuming you use Photoshop, to change your image from RGB color to Greyscale, at the top menu, select "Image", then "Mode", and finally switch to Greyscale from there. From there, you have to level your scans using this guide here: http://www.ruinevil.com/rawr/editguide/1.html#3. From there, you have export your images as 32 or 64-color black and white greyscale PNGs to cut down on filesize. Again, assuming you use Photoshop, the shortcut is Left Ctrl + Left Alt + Left Shift + S (yes, you have to press all 4 keys at once). In the upper right of the menu, next to "colors", select either 32 or 64 for the black and white image, then save your files as PNGs.

You also need to a do a better job cleaning bubbles, as several of them throughout the entire scanlation still have bits of the original text in them.

The biggest problem with your scanlation is your font: SF Grunge Sans. For some strange reason, rather than keep your font black like the RAW, you decided to turn it white with a black stroke. Not only is it more difficult to read, but it also doesn't scale well when you try to change the font size, which shows because more often than not, your fonts are spilling out of the bubbles that you try to put them in. Perfectly good standard text fonts like Wild Words, CCMeanwhile, CCKissandTellInt, and many others are far better suited for regular typesetting. You can use SF Grunge Sans for your sexual moans, but don't change the color of the fonts unless the original comic does it. For more resources on proper scanlation (both editing and translating), go to this forum page on EHCOVE: https://forums.ehentaihip.cc/index.php?s=86e8ebd940c0b5f6c63f8b83fbe802a0&showtopic=68725

@Withbladews Why not start now? If you put it off for a future upload, you'll never get around to it. Show me that you learned something by updating this gallery with everything corrected that I pointed out to you. Take your time with it and upload it on your terms. Take a look at other scanlations from groups such as the LWB, RedLantern, Team Koinaka, and White Symphony, and see what fonts they use and how they typeset their bubbles. There are plenty of resources and forum links from that one post I showed you. Use them.

EDIT: Also, if anybody has N1 or N2 Japanese proficiency, give this user's translation a thorough checking. Since I know next to no Japanese, I can only comment on the editing front.

Last edited on 23 November 2020, 00:19.

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Thank you so much for this. Could you translate chapter 9-11?

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Thanks a ton for this!

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Damn bruh, came for the big titty onee-san, stayed for the absolute raw yet constructive critique on why my mans scans are subpar.

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PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSS

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Much much much appreciated becuase this is probably the greatest footworship work in existence

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Thanks for the constructive criticism THDragon. I was honestly more worried about the translation itself, so I didn't paid a lot of attention to the actual editing, but I'll keep all of that in mind for future uploads

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@THDragon
@Withbladenews

N2 here. Normally I wouldn't care, since the text is understandable enough, but since you asked for a thorough check, you'll have thorough:

P2: There's no 「と言われる」or similar in the original script, so there's no need to use "It is said that". "Humans like when they're being squeezed by armpits like this, right?"
P3: A mistype "Both an(d) assistant and a pet". Consider "I'll make him into my pet-assistant" as an alternative. Also, 「頭の中までいっぱいにする」is less "to get it all in your head" and more "To make even your head filled with/full of it".
P4: If you were to ask me, she might not be using an imperative there. True, -て form is used as an imperative, but it works like that through an omission of ください verb at the end of it. On itself, -て form is used to connect two verbs together, kind of like English "Having done" or "While doing". Therefore, I would go with something along the lines of "Licking with such a tiny tongue... So desperately kissing my armpits... You're like a baby". This also makes more sense in the context of her later complaints about him drooling all over her pits.
P5: "You are getting crazy from just the smell" -> I think what she implies here is that he couldn't bear restricting himself to just smelling, so he started licking halfway through.
P6: Technically she doesn't say "I won't let you get away", it's "You can't run away". Plus, "but" is unnecessary: "That's right, you're a witch's assistant. Even if you say you don't like it/don't want to, you can't run away/escape this"
P7: He says 「ま…じょ？」, not 「ま…じよ？」. Therefore, "A.... witch?", not "Real...ly?"
P8: (Really, I'm sorry about dissecting this page by page, I feel kinda bad about nitpicking every single thing TBH) She's saying "Look at this..." as a way to playfully complain, not to show him something. As in, "Oh come on, look at this - my armpits are all covered in your drool..." Placing ellipsis after "Look" makes it sound like she's trying to present him with something, while the elongated 「ちょっとぉ」in the JP script makes it obvious that she's playfully complaining about something. Also, 「だめなのに」is not "just" "this is not good", it's "EVEN THOUGH this is not good". Small difference, large impact on the subtext.
P9: Again, unnecessary imperative. "Come on... If you swear your allegiance/loyalty to Nell right now, I'll let you have muuuch more fun" is closer to the original.
P10: Less of a mistake, but "place a pledge kiss right here" sounds better than "give it a kiss right here" IMHO, but that might be just me.
P11: 「えっちな匂いに逆らえない」 - instead of "This smell is so exciting... I can'e escape...", "I can't oppose this lewd smell" or "I can't win against this lewd smell" would be closer.
P12: I am not an English native, so I am not sure, can "basic" mean "easy to please/manipulate"? If so, then it's fine.
P14: 「いいものあげるって言ってんのに」 - not "even though I gave you nice things", "even though I told you I'd give (or rather, do, in this context) you nice things". She's saying that he's insolent, even though she promised him a reward. Also, in the following panels, I am not sure whom is she referencing, so "I did this kind of training before" might be better/closer to the original. Also 「得意なんだけど」Does not mean "it's usually good enough", it means "I AM pretty good at it". 「得意」is sometimes used interchangeably with 「上手」. Finally, "But... if I place a kiss there..." "There are no buts", not "was not all", which means pretty much nothing.
P15 (I AM REALLY NOT TRYING TO NITPICK EVERY LITTLE THING, I SWEAR) "Enough" sounds a little more commanding than 「もう」. It changes her tone a little from the original.
P16: Yes, technically she says "Pheromones from inside of Nell", but wouldn't it be better and simpler to just use "Nell's pheromones"? Also, "It's all mixing together"? There's no need for "It's all" there, "mixing together... accumulating (I'm thinking about "thickening" as an alternative, but that might not work so well)" works just as well.
P17:「特別に」Isn't "something special", it's more along the lines of "As an exception", but I guess it can be written off as a stylistic choice, so... The latter part is more difficult. Personally I would go with "What should I do... I am being filled with those smells... My heart is beating faster... And my mind is drifting away..." or something along those lines, but your variant, as a rewrite, works well enough I guess. Except for the last "Could this be", as it's completely unnecessary to phrase it this way.
P18: Not sure how I feel about the "Degeneracy" line xD On one hand it's an interesting rewrite of the original line and it works in context, on the other I want to use something closer to the original. Also, don't quote me on this, but 「あたまがうごかない」might not refer to "movement" as in physical movement, but instead it might refer to his head not WORKING properly. It makes more sense in context as well, but - like I said, don't quote me on this, it's more of a gut feeling.
P19: "My time ran out?" is IMHO more natural than "The time limit?", but again - that might be just me.
P20: "You're a lost child, right?" is such a loaded question, lol xD Consider "Are you lost? If you want, you can step inside the church", which is closer in tone to the original.

Sorry if this seems mean, I swear I did not set out to bully you or anything. I just tend to be very nitpicky when it comes to analysing stuff and mistakes. As a quick read, your translation works well enough and is easily understandable, but when compared to the original script, well... As you can see. Anyway, hope this will become useful.

EDIT: As a sidenote, the only way this chapter could be better is if she did all that in her original form. Lolidom is best femdom.

Last edited on 23 November 2020, 11:07.

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You're so lucky Withbladews. I wish I'd get such detailed feedback for once...

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dude, I was writing a full caps message but deleted it cause I thought it was rude lol, so anyway could I ask if you would mind translating the previous chapter too? ch.17 for instance.
like, PLEASE we can talk about it if you want lmao my horniness is uncontrollable

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Nell is even better untransformed!

Art 7. Plot 8. Sexiness 8. Translation 7. All out of 10.

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My buddy craig told me about this, gotta say he was right!

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My homie craig hyped this stuff up gotta say he was real for this!

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