Uh oh, netorare, rewrite... it couldn't possibly get worse... (unless there's a black guy). In any case, this has been sitting, finished, on my hard drive for a month or so now but I didn't wanna bother with making a non-rewritten english version to upload alongside this one. So now that there's an okay one out there (/g/1799143/3f1863c43e/) and I know there's people who like fapping to my stuff, I figure there's no harm in uploading.

Of course, as usual it hits all the same beats as the original story and dialog, but I just add more context and description. Naturally I'd prefer all this text to be spread out over 20 pages, but unfortunately we only have 5 pages of artwork to work with.

As far as any big changes go, the main story alteration I made was that originally it was implied (or said) that main girl got caught having sex with her student council boyfriend, but I liked it better to say that they hadn't yet. Seemed more fitting for his character and all the usual NTR tropes.

Oh and I've included the original extra pages, for any translator that wants to work on it.

@Xephyrius

"Uh oh, netorare, rewrite... it couldn't possibly get worse... (unless there's a black guy). "

Yikes. Didn't even bother to hide your racism, huh?

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It's a joke about how asshurt people on this site get over seeing black guys in their hentai (along with NTR and rewrites)... I'm kind of amazed that went over your head

Edit: just to mention this was a reply to a comment that has since been downvoted into nonexistence*

Last edited on 31 December 2020, 06:04.

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NNNNNNNNNNN

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Only thing i hate about this is that it is fucking so short! we need 30+ pages man!

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Unrioncially typing the word YIKES into the comments under a e-hentai gallery. Anon... I...

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Nah. Bcc is gross. Need a bbc tag to filter that trash.

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I knew I recognised the writing, then looked at the uploader haha. Absolutely LOVE your rewrites, they're perfect for this kind of thing! I'm just sad it isnt longer. Are you gunna also do the one this artist did similar but with the teacher? I'd love to see that!
/g/1860055/7b3f059936/

I also feel like these would really suit your style to! I'd love to see how youd rewrite those recent Mosquitone doujins!
/g/1823949/544ba3d433/
/g/1546686/08a1500ca1/

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@xshadowsunx funny, all 3 of those are on my to-do list. But I've been quite busy with other stuff (some of which I suspect might get uploaded soon, but not by myself). Not sure when I'll get around to these tbh, and not sure what order I want to tackle them in. Opposed to direct translations, rewriting dialog to take on a different life while still retaining a cohesive flow (as well as correlating to the panels its on) takes quite some time, and it's really become something I procrastinate on; while I enjoy doing it, it's hard to actually start on it.

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