This is my second ever translation, please let me know where I can improve!
If anyone is interested in helping me translate more doujins, please PM me.

Raw:/g/1404704/78bc73cffd/
Typeset by: usuckme

thank you bro
That's good

Base +6, MelmothTheWanderer +33

Thanks for the trad.
Hopefully we can see more work of this group.

Base +8, Fofotron +6, MelmothTheWanderer +33, archer123321 +20

oh man the ending i want to know what happens next!! haha good story

Base +6, Brego1 +6, MelmothTheWanderer +33, Knife Prty +7, your_name +6

Not a bad job on the translation, but I do have a few suggestions you may want to consider:

First off, the way your sentences are phrased are a bit stilted. It makes it seem like you're translating the text word for word. Try loosening up the translation a bit in order to make the "flow" sound more natural.

For example, on Page 2, "I'm the type of guy who is too timid to do anything but watch the girl I like from afar," might be a better way of phrasing it. Yes, a few words were added, but they make the sentence sound more natural without changing the original meaning in the raw.

Second, some of your translations are much too literal. For example, on Page 5, you translated "Abunai!" as "It's dangerous!". While that is one of the meanings of that word, "Look out!" or "Watch out!" would be a better way of phrasing it.

There are also a few instances of apostrophes being where they shouldn't be (like "say's" in Page 3 and "it's" on Page 5), and you really should be using periods at the ends of your sentences.

I hope that helps. On the plus side, I didn't see any glaring grammatical errors, which shows you put a lot more effort into your work than many first-time translators. Keep it up!

Base +37, WhiteNape +9, Maddaa +9, 58569 +11

It's like a high school NTR starter kit story, lmao.

Base +6, Brego1 -6, Wilfriback +20, Fofotron +6, 58569 +11, your_name +6, troybayliss +8

Great job, thanks for the translation. I was hoping this would get done sometime, so I'm glad to finally know what's going on.

As for the translation, is was plenty good. Not completely perfect, but what is? I can take some unobtrusive grammar errors and slightly too literal translation as long as the meaning is clear. So long as I'm not looking at a line and have to stop confused about the meaning, I'm happy.
Only thing that really stood out to me is p32. The mispelling of masochistic as masichistic was blatant enough it jarred me for a second. Also the empty speech bubble at the top of the same page. Maube you put everything you needed in the previous bubble and just didn't need that one, or maybe you forgot to translate it. But most readers will simply assume the latter. Never leave empty bubbles in a translation unless they were like that in the raw.
Other than that, it's great. I wouldn't have even said anything if you hadn't requested feedback. Keep up the good work!

Base +6, dirtyhairry +21, archer123321 +19

Jaily McJailtime?

Base +7

It was game over the moment Turbo Chad appeared. Boyfriend-kun never stood a chance.

Base +7, Ice_Cream +13, Fofotron +6, Brego1 +6, akunoko -30, MelmothTheWanderer +33, sorrowman +6, your_name +6, rikudosennin +6, mbmj +6, troybayliss +8

https://www.dmm.co.jp/dc/doujin/-/detail/=/cid=d_153126/

Base +15, MelmothTheWanderer +33

It was so generic that it hurt.

Dunno why but i dont feel like this one is rape. Like yeah, i know at the beginning she is against and under other circumtances that should be enough for me to consider it rape, but once things get serious and she sees his dick she is more than willingly to do it.
Whats totally being misused it the lingerie tag. Read the descreption LOL

Last edited on 20 February 2021, 02:50.

Base +7, DreadPool +6, Almasy -6, ldangerl -6, jeof96 +6, Knife Prty -7, smt nocturne -24, MelmothTheWanderer -30, Nekoavenger -6, MaxwellCoffee -7