Buy the original: https://www.dlsite.com/maniax/work/=/product_id/RJ226629.html

I'm practicing editing doujins that use translucent text bubbles. How does this look? I'll be doing more of this artists stuff to get better.

Well, a partial success on the redrawings I would say. But there also parts that aren't flawless. On some occasions you didn't manage to match the colortones like the "Ara?" bubble on page 4, or page 10 "...you're squirting it out..." and top right box on page 11 to name three examples.

And lines aren't closed where they should like her hand near the head on page 7 where it looks a bit like something bit 2 tiny bits out of it above the "I'll..." or the males right hand at the bottom of page 10.

I hope this feedback can give you some hints on how you can improve, but I'm not that much qualified to give you advices on techniques and tools, sorry.

But it's great that you want to challenge yourself to get better. I still have a trauma from redrawing the 8 color pages of the Cyclone work I did at the beginning of 2020.

Base +17

Yeah I see what you mean. I think most of those mistakes came down to laziness. I'll have to put more effort into that next time

Base +6