This is good, but until page 7, it's hard to tell WHOSE first time this is. Where's the apprehension, or the assurance by the other more experienced partner? (Maybe it's the first time for BOTH of them, and they can share a laugh over how awkward they both are?) A first time story needs to be as nerve-racking as it is exciting, or else it's no different than a story about a couple who already has any amount of experience under their belts.

Base +6, Qwertius +11