mmm wait for a translation. I mean your attempt isn't that bad, but the translation feels really rough in a lot of pages. and lettering well... sorry, but it's obvious... look, I won't shit on your attempt, but if no one else translate this after I'm done with some translations I'm working right now. I'll work this one ;)
edit: don't worry and I already have a script done for this one. I'll try to typesetting it soon.