Re the poor grammar tag, whoever added it, it requires a comment detailing the issues (otherwise you can't expect improvement).

Pg 2 "What a tit for a little body" - "What a pair of tits for a small/little body" or "what tits for a small/little body" (small fits better than little, and for consistency "small" is used on later pages, but little is grammatically fine)

Pg 3 "She lost her virgin asleep" - "She lost her virginity while sleeping"
"She's Mouning" - spelling error "Moaning"
"Afterall" - Two words - "After all"
"This bitch is enjoying too much" - "This bitch is enjoying this too much" awkward phrasing
"Tired of waiting, I'll use her mouth" - "I'm tired of waiting, I'll use her mouth" - awkward phrasing

Pg 4 "It's so easy to hold her up pounding" - "It's so easy to hold her up while pounding"

Pg 5 "You're gonna be hit on poxnhub" - "You're gonna be a hit on poxnhub" missing A

Base +48, bakabitch +6, Elusi +6, Red of EHCOVE +60, pedifily +8, fula_flight +7, sgc_geh +9, cycber +17, TeacS +4, mintdang5566 +6, aknezude +7, Deca900 +5, absolugom +7, and 4 more...

This isn't netorare, she just got gang-raped.

Base +6, ShadowJ +6, Otaku Soniz +6, Brego1 +6, Esp007 +11, CaptainFlint +5, absolugom -7, Chanel Williams +7, Kyokugen +8, vastolordzen +6, HaremMaster22 -6, Rockington +9, FarbrorPierre +6, and 9 more...

Moral of the story: Don't get drunk with strangers or all male friends.

Base +6, Rockington +9, ThunderKurono +11, bolsa22 +6, HypocrisyRising +2