Mangaka Sites:
https://twitter.com/norihito
https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=97877

Doujinshi Info:
https://www.doujinshi.org/book/931390/

Scanlator Site:
https://alinatheamazingartist.wordpress.com/

Raws scoured from: /g/988326/b7676b71fc/

Ayane's normal yuri doujin have also been officially translated into English & French!
For more information, see the link below:
https://irodoricomics.com/ayane

Edited for typos and blemishes.
Final edits made.
Final final edits for typos.

still wait for more doujinshi by ayane sensei return , hope it can be the “dawn”：）

Base +4, Not@Channer +6

Those were some very...creative attempts to erase the creases on the front cover. And by creative I mean, it was probably best to just leave them alone rather than cloning the bubbles on the right side and.....doing whatever it was you did to Madoka's skirt on the left.

As for the translation itself, as with the other book you just uploaded, you certainly also got very "creative" with the English. I'm honestly not sure what to make of it, except to raise an eyebrow and ponder over why you chose to translate these books this way. From translator to translator, I guess you could say I'm just curious.

Base +17, Gralwer +6, as102 +11

This seems to be a prequel to /g/795120/343b3fb92c/
I didn't even know this existed. I just assumed that they were living together in an interdimensional room because why not. This actually explains it.
Thanks @Nayas, I'll just have to wait however long for those as well.

@siegfriedkai If you're planning to fix anything else up, you might want to change Madoka's line on page 14. "dry up if I take this little with me" should be "dry up if I take this little one with me" I think.
Thanks for the work you guys have done.

Last edited on 05 October 2021, 17:16.

Base +4, as102 +11, sadpanda12345678 +12

>I didn't even know this existed. I just assumed that they were living together in an interdimensional room because why not. This actually explains it.
There's more, /g/663510/f17fb9dd49/ and /g/663510/f17fb9dd49/ both end on devil Homura.
If you are only looking at translated works you are missing out, there's a bunch of untranslated Ayane's Madoka related work including 200 page non-h manga.

Base +21, as102 +11, sadpanda12345678 +12

Regarding the translation effort, for those who bother reading the comments, perhaps one can attribute this creativity to the workflow. (That bit on the cover was the healing brush gone a bit off.)
We generally work by assigning character roles to translators, then coming together to act the raws out loud before translating on the spot. Then we translate the EN script back to Japanese, and compare both original and synthesised Japanese scripts, before making overall edits. It's an unorthodox way of doing things and it does mean that there's a bit of extra padding sometimes due to the spontaneity of the process, but it's faster for us and keeps the vibrancy of the text that we'd have probably missed individually, like the bits of spy-play in pg 008 and 016, Sayaka breaking into a bit of dialect in pg 007 with ややこしい, that little bit of sponsorship-esque text in pg 006.
And to any other translators who might be reading this, I encourage you to give this sort of approach a shot too! Often, it's enough for the translator alone to give a narrated performance manga/doujin out loud just to set correct bearings before starting translation proper, but having a team do this lends for greater robustness and instant feedback. It's also great if you intend to streamline character speech patterns across multiple doujins/chapters where appropriate. Manga, being a work for vernacular and seldom having a strong narratorial presence, is uniquely suited for such methods of testing.

Other than that, I can't say we really took liberties with the translation in this one, barring the usual techniques of modulation and equivalence, save for the following bubbles:
pg 015, last bubble, padded Homura's speech on experience for clarity.
pg 011, bubble 3, made Madoka's speech less halting.
And of course, the title.
But admittedly, we took an approach of familiarisation with this batch of doujins, so they may not be to taste for everyone.

Last edited on 05 October 2021, 15:58.

Base +6, sadpanda12345678 +12, as102 +11, AriesWarlock +13

Hey, thanks for the detailed reply!

While character voice is absolutely critical--and what a lot of translators either struggle with or ignore--I'm not sure the idea of assigning a single character per translator and having each translator 'act' it out is really the way to go for an multi-established work such as this. For one thing, you have Madoka...and for another, you have this artist's interpretation of the characters. They already have character voice. I don't see the need to inject additional voice where there wasn't any originally.

That said, again, I appreciate the reply, and it does explain why your translations read the way they do. It does make me super curious as to who y'all are and where you popped up from, but that can be a mystery for another day.

Peace!

Base +17, sadpanda12345678 +12, tobeunforgiven2 +24

This felt like reading a whole extra chapter after the 3rd movie. Very enjoyable.

Base +15, Not@Channer +6, Akrioz +6, wishlin +6

@ozuuma123
Thanks for noticing that; it technically wasn't a typo as we were trying to refer to Ai as a small volume of love, but it didn't come off well and we'd forgotten about returning to it. Another set of typos on pg 040 have also been fixed.

@Nomake Wan
Well, we don't usually have that much manpower to go around, unfortunately, to have a 1-for-1 translator/character pair, (this one was done by 2 people) haha; too many cooks spoil the broth and scheduling plans anyways.
We do try to mitigate the issue of erring towards excess regarding voicing by using back-translation, so we compare our Japanese to the original and we try to wrestle amongst ourselves about it.
But given the performative aspect to this approach, it must be said that the final product would then depend on our judgement and "personal" histories with/usages of English and Japanese, so the colouring cannot be avoided with this pipeline. Neither can giving Kyouko Britishisms, but that's a hill we're willing to die on.
Upon further thought, another criticism I would put up against this approach is that it's not very suited for serious doujins, nor for works with a stronger narratorial direction/focus. It is quite playful after all. A bit sexy too.
On a side note, if you'd like to learn more about us, check out the link in the credits page! We initially came together to translate some modern Jap lit neglected by the wider world and by publishers, but things spun off from there into heaps of MadoMagi doujin. Check out the link in the credits page to find out more!

And to end off, thanks to everyone for pitching in! This will make the final round of edits.

Base +6, Abarrow +8

Thanks for the translations hopefully this doesn't get deleted like the other English translated ayane works. Also fuck fakku and fuck the mods for bowing down to these assholes

Base +7, brotherdudejack +6, Frygon +10, wishlin +6, preomenade +6

pg 10, "allowing things to remain they are," -> "allowing things to remain as they are,"

pg 10, "time for me to back to" -> "time for me to go back to"

pg 16, "any impact the human" -> "any impact on the human"

Base +6, demeaener5 +11, tobeunforgiven2 +24

@mutopis Thanks!

Base +6, sadpanda12345678 +12, tobeunforgiven2 +24

Very disappointed it wasnt a wholesome doujinshi with just madokami and aichan. still, the first half was very wholesome.

Base +6, Hyoros -15, Sherlockian -7

I'm confused and aroused.

Base +11