This work was requested by patron : Vibrant12

Original work can be found here : /g/1782171/f4e522fc6b/

Thanks. Part 1 soon?

Base +7, Eingetsu +6, mintdang5566 +6, lolo123445 +6, Nakama_P +6, punkex +6, Dooderz -8, Megaton +45, ABDC +6, Nino4999 +6, roskrad +8, Coledas Ukgent +3

I'll have to see first @SavageBlowJob didn't actually plan on doing this series, but if a lot of people request for the other parts, I'll consider doing it

Base +7, Nakama_P +6, AriesWarlock +13, CaptainFlint +5, S0fTEngine +6, rednilog +6, triz1337 +6, Dooderz -8, Nino4999 +6, jeppeofdarkness +1, nam3 -8, pesc +8, Coledas Ukgent +3, and 2 more...

how evil of you sir, If you are gonna start translating something at least start with the first chapter, how am I suppose to fap to this ffs

that patron of yours is either selfish or just a retard for requesting the 2nd chapter

Base +5, AAF +11, Akamashi +7, ICE user +6, darkrider1 +9, Torkul +6, castellone34 +5, absolugom +7, Mr.Awesomeness +6, MetalGarv +14, Nayan +6, BokuNoGf +6, ierrul6 +4, and 16 more...

There are a number of minor grammatical errors scattered throughout. Having someone proofread your work next time will definitely help.

In the meantime, here are some suggested corrections for the first ten pages. Feel free to use them, if you want:

P02
"Fulfill", not "fulfil".

P04
"This is supposed to be a fun trip", not "This is suppose to be a fun trip".
"Busy", not "bussy".

P05
"Over here", not "Over there" (since she's calling him over).

P06
"Let's play around" or "Play around with us", not "Let's play around with us".

P07
"I let a man other than me touch Aoi" or "I let other men than me touch Aoi", not "I'm have let other man than me touch Aoi".

P08
"Did that really happen", not "Did that really happened".

P09
"Stuff", not "stuf".

Base +37, Fragtale +6, nightmare_101 +7, Akamashi +7, smt nocturne +28, CaptainFlint +5, ncc1701z +18, Mr.Awesomeness +6, MetalGarv +14, trejo +6, Zinbieel +6, meatyllamastick +6, EroticWaffle +7, and 6 more...

People paid for this?

Base +6, gooched +6, Nayan -6, Zinbieel +6, narc123 +8, EroticWaffle +7, akanameTL +3, Dooderz +8, SleepoT +6, nam3 +8, Coledas Ukgent +3

It's great, but personally I would have liked to see the first part of the story first.

Base +7, absolugom +7, Nayan +6, punkex +6, S0fTEngine +6, Dooderz -8, ABDC +6, K81f +4, Coledas Ukgent +3

I just look at the art, don't care about accurate translations

Base +6, nam3 -8, Ass Spanker -25, Grace M -5, Hyperniax -6, halomastah117 -6, coolawesome -10, PsychicDoom -6, NatsumeMio -6, traderdave -7, Leonidas23 -8, Pays -7, Veningrad -6, and 3 more...

Part 7: /g/2563313/4c7a1c5930/

Part 6: /g/2563310/0a6a3a066b/

Part 5: /g/2563309/5661dceb01/

Part 4: /g/2562600/4c40ecdfa0/

Part 3: /g/2562599/d621d4d93c/

Part 2: /g/2070306/635cf4a984/ (You are here)

Part 1: /g/2311620/198f849637/

Last edited on 20 July 2023, 17:32.

Base +6, Coledas Ukgent +3, Oofingoofer77 +6, schwitt +7, Agent Bun +19

Adding to the errors meow_pao listed

p10
"Mixed baths are usually only filled with aunts"

p13
"It feels good granpa!!"

p18
"Just with my hands isn't enough"

love you glovelove <3333

Base +19