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[Etuzan Jakusui] Sunao ni Nareta Hi | The day when I became obedient (COMIC Anthurium 2017-11) [English] [Digital]

[越山弱衰] 素直になれた日 (COMIC アンスリウム 2017年11月号) [英訳] [DL版]

Manga
Posted:2022-02-03 13:42
Parent:None
Visible:Yes
Language:English  TR
File Size:33.27 MiB
Length:26 pages
Favorited:2462 times
Rating:
494
Average: 4.56

Showing 1 - 26 of 26 images

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Posted on 03 February 2022, 13:42 by:   castle03    PM
Uploader Comment
Source taken from: http://eromanga-mainichi.com/%e3%80%90%e3%82%a8%e3%83%ad%e6%bc%ab%e7%94%bb%e3%80%91%e5%a4%a7%e5%a5%bd%e3%81%8d%e3%81%aa%e4%bc%af%e6%af%8d%e3%81%a8%e4%ba%8c%e4%ba%ba%e3%81%a3%e3%81%8d%e3%82%8a%e3%81%ab%e3%81%aa%e3%81%a3%e3%81%a6/

mail: [email protected]
Posted on 03 February 2022, 15:18 by:   7se7en    PM
Score +206
Mmm, ESL translations. Love 'em
Posted on 03 February 2022, 15:38 by:   trigunner26    PM
Score +454
Was there something wrong with the translation that was uploaded here almost 4 years ago?

/g/1192570/173fff8624/
Posted on 03 February 2022, 15:52 by:   castle03    PM
Score -52
@trigunner26
sorry for that, i searched for this doujin here on this site using the titles but seems it was posted with different title,
so i just did it, thank you for the info, it might help me to improve to be better
thanks.
Posted on 03 February 2022, 16:50 by:   cutegyaru    PM
Score +157
@castle03
Just search by the artist's name?
Posted on 03 February 2022, 18:36 by:   LoserForEver    PM
Score -66
Is there a problem with having multiple translations?
Posted on 04 February 2022, 01:17 by:   ragnel alondite    PM
Score +177
Even after all those years, I don't understand why that dude who's at least in high school needs his aunt to babysit him
Posted on 04 February 2022, 02:34 by:   greengrasstree    PM
Score +81
@ragnel alondite: He's autistic.
Posted on 04 February 2022, 02:40 by:   castle03    PM
Score -100
@cutegyaru
it's doesn't show that artist name on the site i read
the site is pinned

@trigunner
you can judge but i think i have done a better job than the old one all by myself
Last edited on 04 February 2022, 04:34.
Posted on 04 February 2022, 07:44 by:   Ass Spanker    PM
Score +394
@LoserForEver
Usually no, but only if the later translations are of equal/higher quality.

@castle03
Sorry, no. You do typeset the SFX though, which is a plus over the other translation, and your typesetting is not too half bad either. But the translation quality, sadly, leaves a lot to be desired. A lot of sentences without proper punctuation.
I'll go through some of the big issues in the first 5 pages. Only first 5 pages, and only huge issues.

Pg. 1:
- "only your aunt has been asked to do the housework" is an awkward translation, and rather incorrect as well. In the raw, it says that she's entrusted to look after the house. There's nothing "only" here.

Pg. 2:
- "Do you think your aunt is better than mom?" is a bad translation in a few ways. First, whose mom? Second, better at what? Third, usually, you would say "don't you think" rather than "do you think". A better translation would be "Don't you think I'm a better cook than your mom?". But the root of the issue is much simpler. In the raw, this line says that the aunt thinks she's better than his mom at cooking. That's it.
- "I was lectured by grandmother". Lecture is a rather weird word choice. Also, whose grandmother? Why not something much simpler like "I was trained by your grandma."?
- "Isn't there something you want to make?" She's the one making dinner, not him.
- "Pae". No. This is outright a wrong translation. He's saying ぱい (pie), which the other translation got it correct by noting that he's referring to her tits as well.

Pg. 3:
- You got her name wrong. Huge huge no-no.
- Never use "..". This is not a valid punctuation mark.
- "Have you lost your vision?". Not sure what you are trying to say here?
- "Its rather opposite..." -> "It's rather the opposite...".
- "Opposite ?" -> "The opposite?". Do NOT put a space before a punctuation mark.
- "Um..:" -> "Um...".
- "Stop, it's dangerous". What's dangerous? He never said "stop" either. "ビール危な" means he's telling her to watch the beer (because it's gonna spill). That leads to another issue where you translated the SFX to "spill" but in reality, it's him kinda saying the same thing about how the beer's gonna spill.

Pg. 4:
- You have to keep his name consistent: Nao-kun (with hyphen).
- "Its" -> "It's".
- "I don't think". Not sure what you are trying to say here?
- "ぐに" is squish, which is better translated to "rub" or "squish" or "knead" rather than "stretch", a completely different motion.

Pg.5:
- If the SFX points to his neck and it visibly shows him swallowing his saliva, "gulp" would be a much better translation, rather than "stiff".
- I get that you translate "oba-chan" to "aunt", and I usually don't like leaving weeb words in, but do you see someone call his aunt literally "aunt"? You could have just used "you" or "auntie".
- "Lying...". This is an awkward way to translate. Either "You're lying...", or better, "No way...".
- " ?". No space before a punctuation mark.
- "Is it okay because Aunt already have lots of experience?": I had to reread this sentence a few times to fully understand what you were trying to convey. Why is it a question? The aunt was trying to say it's ok because she had a lot of experience, there's no questioning tone there. It's no rhetorical question either.

Only the first 5 pages. I took a quick glance at the later pages and there were even more typos and grammatical errors. I'm not sure where you got the confidence from to say that you did a better job than the other translation.
Posted on 04 February 2022, 08:34 by:   castle03    PM
Score -100
yeah i got it and I'll be more careful , but i said i did it all by myself. Thank you
Posted on 04 February 2022, 08:46 by:   greengrasstree    PM
Score +165
I don't understand why you couldn't have translated the higher res version from the tank at this point.
Posted on 04 February 2022, 09:20 by:   Ass Spanker    PM
Score +225
@castle03 I mean the part where you thought that you did a better job than the other translation. I get that you solo'ed this translation, but I'm not sure why you thought this was better than the other one.
Anyway, those are the few things that you should look out for if you want to do more releases in the future. All in all, your translation as a whole reads very stiff, and way too literal at places, sometimes even nonsensical. Not to say the other translation's free of errors as I found some over there as well, but yours has in higher quantity and severity.

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