This version reworked from:
/g/2181685/9d9878c184/

raw:
/g/2173835/289df460ea/

Other translation:
Chinese:/g/2181703/a78fdb108f/

goods:
https://www.melonbooks.co.jp/detail/detail.php?product_id=1186700
https://www.doujinshi.org/book/1826327/

My brain hurt trying to read this.

Base +6, Taedium +6, viseurahh +6, chibifrostblaze +8, someonee1se +7, TCJJ +6, shiftyness13 +6, red death68 +6, Wave-Guiding Hero +6, JakeRowling +7, aff587 +6

I'm not the biggest yuri guy out there, but this is just disrespectful to the infinite comfiness of Yuru Camp. Please learn the languages you're translating to and from.

rough grammar

p.4 We finally arrived here walking!! => by walking
p.4 the range to the station => the distance
p.4 cause => because or abbreviate it 'cause. cause is an entirely different word.
p.4 why do we => did we
p.4 you wanna go here => you wanted to come here
p.4 i've never said => i never said. this is not a past continuous action.
p.6 i am naked with Rin-chan, here are only two of us => this 100% needs to be rephrased
p.6 nake
p.6 no matter how many times here I came, i feel still great => Again, broken syntax. "It always feels great to come here no matters how many times I do."
p.6 there's always crowd of people => a crowd
p.6 but nobody this time => but there's nobody this time
p.6 not a plump boobs => cut "a"

Base +16, Wei_Zhi +8, Taedium +6, viseurahh +6, chibifrostblaze +8, Hawlc +6, nikgtasa +11, Luuuk +6, FatSpanner +6, andystevens1997 +8, someonee1se +7, TCJJ +6, Dnkz +52, and 5 more...

stick to chinese, chinaman

Base +10, APIV -9, someonee1se -7, ZeldaGuy21 -6, Factual -6, TCJJ +6, atasitian -25, Zombielord +6, No. 2 +6, Wave-Guiding Hero +6, disruptor44 +9

"reworked"

Base +7, ZeldaGuy21 +6, TCJJ +6, shiftyness13 +6, OnlyMyRail +6

If I wasn't slowly reworking another messed up doujin, I'd take this one up. If I have time after that one, maybe I'll do this one. This doujin seems pretty cursed translation-wise.

EDIT: I finally got around to working on it! If you somehow come across this one before my version, you can find it here: /g/2317875/65d1ed53e9/

Last edited on 13 September 2022, 05:41.

Base +6, andystevens1997 +8, someonee1se +7, TCJJ +6, EmeraldicDriller +6, disruptor44 +9, shiftyness13 +6, JakeRowling +7, OnlyMyRail +6