RAW:
https://www.pixiv.net/artworks/88111906
/g/1857907/308289d596/

this iz not a cg set my dude

Base +5, Waitugreat -24, politas +7, Forgunia -7, IS IRIS +6, Le non y mous -6

If I were to guess this girl liked the faceless guy that she hung around with prior but her friends peer pressured her into the arms of the NTR guy due to him asking first.

Base +12

p.1 she's not standing out => she doesn't stand out or she didn't stand out in class (since you're writing the narration in the past tense).
p.1 both of us were not => neither of us were (use of a negative)
p.1 kind of got along together => "together" is superfluous
p.2 he's way more worthy for a plain-looking => than? the sentence sounds odd in general
p.2 you're gonna rejected => reject
p.3 some damn hot => a damn hot
p.3 and carve that => it
p.3 looks like we're fitting quite well by now, huh? => needs to be rephrased. I know what you mean, but this is very most likely a literal translation of the JP text.
p.3 from her voice and atmosphere => a person doesn't have an "atmosphere". Do you mean mannerisms? Allure? Demeanor?
p.4 I'll let you savor those piled up => "those" referring to cum is incorrect. cum is an indeterminate amount. It's better to spell it out here. "I'll let you savor the cum that's accumulated [or synonym] in the rubber as well."
p.4 make sure that you'd => that you
p.4 since then, our meeting after school never happened again. => awkward phrasing. "We've never hung out again after school since."

Base +16, Gandu89 +11, Spooky Ghost Butts +7, pantsuman1 -6, CaptainFlint +5, silverbot01 +6, Beyond Imagination +6, Nekotekken -8, Xiroam +10, Ass Spanker +25, 58569 +6, theboredotaku +6, meganekov3 +2, and 7 more...

@cutegyaru
autismgod...

Base +6, Spooky Ghost Butts -7, kwajalien +13, silverbot01 +6, Beyond Imagination -6, Nekotekken +8, Glovelove. +15, Ass Spanker -25, theboredotaku -6, MeloTheYellow -6, Frideswide -13, IS IRIS -6, pedifily -9, and 9 more...

Are these types of stories some kind of uno reverse card to encourage herbivore JP males to be more courageous and make the first move? There's always some kind of odd implication that if the "protagonist" moved first he would have had a chance.

Base +6, kwajalien +13, moximoore +15, silverbot01 +6, Olivki +6, georgenorthern +5, MeloTheYellow +6

@UnlimitedBlades
Eh not really since the opposite it's also very popular: NTR stories about guys that made the first move and either got rejected for whatever reason and the girl ends up with the NTRman (As expected) or they get immediately cucked after succeeding. Don't think about it too much.

Base +6

This is a popular cuckolding scenario. Really well done though I wish it were longer. Still it hits the really good fetish elements in just a few panels with good key dialogue.

Art 7. Plot 8. Sexiness 8. Translation 5. All out of 10.

Base +9