You know... for research!

Commissioned by u/JeanneDAlter from Reddit.

Original: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/82030679

Source: (Happy Memories Web) https://www.dlsite.com/maniax/work/=/product_id/RJ300369.html

Want something commissioned? View our commission guide in our discord! https://discord.gg/aJbedRF

Edit: Changed "Senpai" to "junior"

"The only reason I'm skipping club *again* to have sex with you [...] so don't flatter yourself, buddy!"

TSUNDERE: 100

Base +15, Evyy +16, Evil of Humanity +4, baneonplane +7, DesRed +6, crowuser +6

p.5 last line is junior not senpai.

this is kind of translate is out right rewrite.

Base +8, LingeringMemories -14, tcaz2 -7, Seiphied -7, Blookryynnn -5, p187 -7, LunaticSeibah -5, Evil of Humanity -4, afsafsfasdf -6, TheSecondNMD -6, SomeLazyDouche -7, baneonplane -7

@H0r0 I dun goofed. I'll... make corrections. Got my kouhai / senpai confused.

But please pray tell, tell me how this is a rewrite? Just cause it isn't riddled with awkward, literal Japanese-to-English prose? If you read the original Japanese, you'd see how it isn't.

If you're referring to page 3 and the whole "jackhammer" bit, it's a lot more natural and less vague contextually than the hard TL of "Hey! The way you're just fucking/stabbing one place" cause what do jackhammers do really well? : )

Ooor, is it the grade-A performance thing? You know... Perfect performance = Grade-A + School outfit.... Makes sense to me!

Base +6, Evyy +16, Evil of Humanity +4, baneonplane +7, firedragon89 +14, IncognitoMaud +6

@Quartz Saint

For how many years this character yu miaoyi | hinako akuta added to the game with her official info she is senpai, player is kouhai.

here you "translated" junior/kouhai as senpai which not just wrong at technical translate level, it changed the meaning of the dialog make it illogical.

p.1 as the translation they are fucking because she want to "research how a woman in pleasure, gasping for breath should sound like"

p.7 "that feel so good, i almost lost sight of my research" so this part is still her thinking

but then "senpai, you dumb son of a..." this part sound like from player because player calls yu as senpai but the the bubble is linked, meaning it belong to one character.

it's inconsistent, make no sense as standard writing flow, that why i checked raw to see wtf going on and the result is you changed kouhai/junior to senpai.

a "confused" that break the flow of story, changed meaning of word to opposite meaning.

for someone who would not care to check raw they would think first part is the woman thinking the last part is the male thinking while by standard writing both part must belong to one character, in raw it is all from the woman but since the reader doesn't check raw they would be confuse.

your "confused" not just change the meaning of the word, it also changed the pov of character narrative make up unnecessary pov confusion.

that is enough for rewrite.

Base +8, LingeringMemories -14, tcaz2 -7, Seiphied -7, Blookryynnn -5, GoldPilot -6, Evyy -16, p187 +7, LunaticSeibah -5, Mrsuperhappy -40, Evil of Humanity -4, TheSecondNMD -6, SomeLazyDouche -7

@H0R0

chill out, he miswrote kouhai as senpai. that doesn't make a rewrite. mistakes happen to the best of us. on top of that, he said he's going to make a correction. go smoke some weed or something

Base +10, Evyy +16, Evil of Humanity +4, baneonplane +7, firedragon89 +14, IncognitoMaud +6

@H00

I literally said that the Senpai/Kouhai thing is a mistake. That IS getting changed.

Also, news flash: not everybody plays JP! She's pretty damn new in NA.

P.1 Yeah...? That's what... I put... .__.

P.7 I know... It's italicized, so it IS her inner thoughts... I don't see the problem here... All of that is in thought bubble, which makes this even... more obvious?

>Standard writing flow
Lol, whut

And a "confused?" It's called a "question mark", which was in the original... I honestly don't know what you're getting at.

In this series, the male doesn't have any dialogue... at all. You getting confused is just you not knowing how to read, I'm sorry. Anyone with half a brain would be able to tell all the dialogue is coming from Yu.

Base +6, Evyy +16, Evil of Humanity +4, baneonplane +7, firedragon89 +14, IncognitoMaud +6

Two points.

1. Translating senpai/kouhai as senior/junior is fine. This is a localization preference.
2. Making a mistake doesn't suddenly transform an entire work into a rewrite. Also, "Rewrite" has a very specific definition in EH - it has be a completely made-up story. "Rough translation" is probably the tag you're referring to, and you would need 10 mistakes minimum (on top of being on the whitelist) to be able to use it. This TL doesn't fit the tag description.

Base +16, Evyy +16, LunaticSeibah +5, Evil of Humanity +4, baneonplane +7, pkplat +12, firedragon89 +14, IncognitoMaud +6

@ Quartz Saint:

the female is senpai to the male
the male is kouhai to the female

so when "senpai, you dumb son of a..." appeared, by logic relationship it sounds like the male said this
but

"In this series, the male doesn't have any dialogue... at all."
"Anyone with half a brain would be able to tell all the dialogue is coming from Yu."

then "anyone" are stupid don't know how to read if cannot notice the illogical of the senpai said "senpai, you dumb son of a..."

you uploaded "translated" for 6 fucking years already,
at least you should recognized all the basic relationship word in jp like older bro/sis, younger bro/sis, cousin, step-, in-law, senpai, kouhai by now.

this only has 5 pages and you fucked up the most basic word used for relation for a pay work.

now i'm questioning the others over 20 pages non pay works you uploaded before this.

-----------------------
@ cutegyaru:

i don't give a fuck if translator use kouhai for junior or senpai for senior.

but it is stupid mistake when swapped them up by someone uploaded translated for nearly 6 years for a pay work.

this is not free translation,
it is commissioned by someone,
someone payed to get this translated.

Base +8, LingeringMemories -14, tcaz2 -7, Seiphied -7, Blookryynnn -5, LunaticSeibah -5, Evyy -16, p187 +7, Mrsuperhappy -40, TheSecondNMD -6, SomeLazyDouche -7, IncognitoMaud -6

@H0R0

True as that may be, it's literally one word, bro. I'm allowed to make mistakes.
I've already provided corrections to the person who commissioned this work. Tf are you, their mom? My boss?
No. Fuck off, seek help. It's not that deep. Getting this bent out of shape over one word on something you haven't paid for is weird.

Also, hey! If you want to look at all the other stuff I've translated, by all means, waste your time going over each and every single one with your fine-toothed comb and your degree in Japanese-to-English translation studies.

I'll read the stuff you've TL'd to... wait... What's this?! No uploads?! D: Let me know when you actually translate something instead of bleeding and crying on other people's works. like you own them. You're making a mess, stop it.

Base +6, SilentFapper +6, Evyy +16, Evil of Humanity +4, Bobbyasdf +8, baneonplane +7, pkplat +12, firedragon89 +14, IncognitoMaud +6

Holy shit you fucking nerds just jack off to the hentai and be done with it. Touch some grass instead of arguing over dumb shit on a hentai platform.

Base +6, Spooky Ghost Butts -7, p187 -7, Evil of Humanity -4, afsafsfasdf -6, baneonplane -7, firedragon89 -14, DesRed -6, IncognitoMaud -6

calm down you retarded fucking autist

Base +10, Evil of Humanity +4, baneonplane +7, firedragon89 +14

At first I thought it was an Emergence-related doujinshi since Akuta looks just like the female MC.

Thx anyway.

Base +6, Evil of Humanity +4, baneonplane +7, firedragon89 +14

And I thought I was an autism. Man literally translates, typesets, redraws all the transparent bubbles, redraws all the SFX and DECENSORS the thing but he's trash because of a minor TL misstep he immediately says he'll fix. Sheesh.

Base +42, Light_Dragon +7, Ghostface211 +1, Evyy +16, LunaticSeibah +5, Evil of Humanity +4, Lostalgia +9, SomeLazyDouche +7, baneonplane +7, Beane +7, firedragon89 +14, IncognitoMaud +6

hey, nice fix.
———————

@Scumbini:
by that same token (translates, typesets, redraws everything, decensors) he should not make that mistake in the first place.

Would people after saw so much attention to detail work would think he would make mistake translation? Most likely they would think noway he would make mistake if he put so much work in it with all the redraws&decensor then pass it as it is how it is in jp.

from when he uploaded first version to my first comment it was about over 13 hours, lots of people would have read this but no one said anything about that wrong translation. They accepted that mistake as real.

He delivered the work, took the payment, if no one said anything wrong with it then would he bother to waste his time to recheck for error? I would say he would not bother to fix it if no one say anything. Because when no one say anything it means nothing is wrong with the work. He may as well not saw the mistake as he already done with it.

You uploaded thousands of galleries your self, would you go back to gallery that no one said anything wrong about it to check it for any error to fix it or you only bother to check for the mistake/error in one gallery if someone said something is wrong with it?
Have a nice day, keep upload more!

Base +8, LunaticSeibah -5, LingeringMemories -14, GoldPilot -6, TheSecondNMD -6, SomeLazyDouche -7, baneonplane -7, @Inkblot -28, IncognitoMaud -6

Why translate kouhai though ?

Horo, there is a manner to write criticism. Yours was... The wrong one

Base +10, Evyy +16, baneonplane +7

@lw123789, I just usually do. Senpai is kind of iconic in the series, so I translated kouhai for familiarity. (Even though I think Ritsuka called Mash "Kouhai" once or twice...)

@H0R0 There are ways to go about things. One error a rewrite does not make.
Then you proceeded to find other "problems" like "you can't tell who's saying what" or "you broke 'standard writing conventions' by having a line-break before a 'confusion mark.'" When I pointed out those were bullshit, you circled back to the original issue.

I've seen MUCH, MUCH worse paid commissions uploaded, and people just eat them up.
It's flattering you feel... so passionately about this, but I don't think my whole name should be dragged through the mud literally for one mistake, paid or unpaid, especially considering the hard work and quality of everything else.

I am not an official publisher, I have a 9 to 5, I am human. Gomenasorry.

Base +6, Evyy +16, baneonplane +7

'standard writing conventions' 'standard speaking conventions' or "standard grammar"

is how you learn to speak and to write from school the right way for your language. The "standard" way to talk and to write.

broke "standard writing conventions" is when the writing not follows the normal grammar.

So far in real life I didn't meet anyone speaks or writes that broke "standard grammar" but
in manga and anime there are a lot of characters broke "standard grammar" almost there must be one character in every series to fill the spot for "weird 3rd person speaking character" especially those yandere character author like to make them speaks in 3rd person

ex: normal grammar when someone want to say she love another person she would say "I love you." but then there is character that say their own name in stead of "I" like ex: "Muku love you"

(Mukuro or "Muku" as she called herself is from Date a Live IV is this kind of character.)

this way of talking is "non standard", "broke standard writing/speaking conventions". 3rd person speaking when you (1st person) is speaking.

Back to this work first version, the female character is speaking, she is senpai of the dude who's fucking her.
so by "standard grammar"
she would have to say something like

"Graagh! That felt so good, I almost lost sight of my research... I'm such a dumb bitch..." If she talk about herself
or
"Graagh! That felt so good, I almost lost sight of my research... you, stupid junior." blame her "almost lost sight of research" to the dude who fucks her brain out.

but what on the page was
""Graagh! That felt so good, I almost lost sight of my research... senpai, you dumb son of a bitch..."

it is "non standard" because "she" refer to her self as "senpai" then "you dumb son of a bitch"
son = male child
bitch = female
"son of a bitch" = male child of a female

so it become

she is female calling her self male child of a female?

or

in the relationship with the male who is fucking her, she is the senpai/senior, he is her kouhai/junior, she is the senpai but called her kouhai male her senpai?

that is inconsistency

"standard grammar" would be
"kouhai, you dumb son of a bitch..."

or "non standard" would be
"senpai, you dumb bitch..."

but this character was created by the dev as someone who's using "standard grammar", she using "non standard grammar" "3rd person speaking" is not normal.

that why i checked raw to see if the author really made her broke "standard grammar"

turn out the raw follows jp "standard grammar" as it should be

""Ku...! That felt so good half way through forgot about the research... damn junior..." no weird "3rd person speaking" from the author

So yes, your first version was broke "standard writing conventions" it broke "standard grammar"
that lead to i've to check the raw to see if the translate was right or not, turned out it was wrong.

I also saw much worst commission translation which basically just a mess of translate dialog, just the dialog, nothing else.

Here you took your time to decensored, redraw all the bubbles, translated all the sound effect... then you put "senpai" instead of "kouhai/junior" in place of where the raw it was "kouhai"

for some one dedicated so much work for 5 pages story but put the wrong basic word for relationship? senpai/kouhai are using everywhere in jp manga so to me If you were so dedicated to translate all those extra, no way you would make that simple error for the base story, so that "senpai" was put there with intention, hence i called the first version rewrite.

It is just like someone lazy did work bare minimum passable then one day he did make mistake, people would think "dude is lazy ass, soon or latter he gonna make mistake, whatever"
to someone did his work very well all the time but one day he slipped, people would not think he made mistake, they would think he deliberate did it.

Few year ago a noticed a error on one translated story. The daughter-in-law looks somewhat like the dead mother-in-law so in one of the sex session with the father-in-law the daughter-in-law said to the father-in-law "I'm not `daughter-in-law's name'" by standard grammar you it should be "I'm not 'mother-in-law's name" in raw it was indeed "I'm not 'mother-in-law's name'"
the translator said because their name has same one jp character so when he saw that character he slapped the daughter-in-law name on in stead of really checked who is who.

Which to say you should be careful with very common used words
先輩 senpai
後輩 Kōhai kouhai

they have same 輩

Which to say you should be careful with very common used words
use tool(s) to check those kind of word, your mind sometime fucked with you.

Base +8, LingeringMemories -14, SomeLazyDouche -7, baneonplane -7, @Inkblot -28, Evyy -16, LunaticSeibah -6, IncognitoMaud -6

@H0R0 you fell off + ratio + you're white + you're british + who asked + no u + deez nuts + radio + don't care + didn't ask + i'm a minor + i'm neurodivergent + caught in 4k + cope + seethe + GG + in 1947 the world's first general purpose computer, the 30 ton ENIAC was created + your mom's + the hood watches markiplier now + grow up + L + L (part 2) + retweet + ligma + taco bell tortilla crunch + think outside the bun + ur benched + ur a wrench + i own you + ur dad fell off + my dad could beat ur dad up + ur aimhacking + silver elite + tryhard + boomer + sksksksk + ur beta + i'm sigma + ur submissive + L (part 3) + yb better + ur sus + this is a cry for help and i'm extremely depressed. + quote tweet + you're cringe + i did your mom + you bought monkey nft + you're weirdchamp + you're a clown + my father left me at the age of 4 and i never recovered since + my dad owns steam + who want me? + i'm lonely + they didn't think it could possibly happen, but they're releasing L (part Ratio+ dont care + didn't ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your're a (insert stereotype) + not funny didn't laugh + you're* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + ratio again + final ratio + stay mad + stay pressed + pedophile + cancelled + done for + mad free + freer than air + rip bozo + slight_smile + cringe again + mad cuz bad + lol + irrelevant + cope + jealous + go ahead whine about it + your problem + don't care even more + not okay + glhf + problematic

Base +7, @Inkblot +28, celltf +17, LunaticSeibah +6, Vanilla Cream +7, IncognitoMaud +6

@ H0R0
Bro it's been like four days just let it go.

Base +29, pkplat +12, Evyy +16, DesRed +6, IncognitoMaud +6

@H0R0

Seek Jesus.

EDIT: And an English teacher.

Base +6, Evyy +16, IncognitoMaud +6