Version history:
2022/07/20 - Fixed some phrasings & most grammatical errors, many thanks to Mr_Person and cutegyaru for the proofreading.

Had a blast translating these ones. Reordered the page numbers to allow merging with Part 1.
Low-res but it is what it is. At least I didn't freehand any of the FXs so that they can be ported/updated more easily.

ENG Part 1: /g/2273357/da1d960745/
Raw: /g/2059456/86e152fcc9/

==================================================================

Get the magazine:
https://book.dmm.co.jp/detail/dmmmg_3579/
https://www.dlsite.com/books/work/=/product_id/BJ417090.html
https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/B09MVJM5D1

Artist's socials & fanbox:
https://gamerag3.fanbox.cc/
https://twitter.com/gamerag94
https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/95808
https://www.plurk.com/gamerag3

Artist's other works:
https://www.dlsite.com/books/author/=/author_id/AJ021975
(TW) https://shopee.tw/gamerag3
(TW) https://www.myacg.com.tw/seller_market.php?seller=555355&market_id=19941

Incredibly kino

Base +8, AlfredHoneyBuns +6, ohjadatzieterlekruit -6, soul saber +6, JumpingJellybeans +6

P1 /g/2273357/da1d960745/

Base +7, Xobotun +8

The real reason why he is always wearing sunglasses is author. He didn't want to draw his eyes

Base +5, TenchiGirlFan +6, Quflow +7, Danjian +6, alkhgfladg +6, pesc +8, officierviewer +6, CharlieHoang97 +6, l2ose +11, alllifeinfate +6, bananaramadama-sama +7, Cmdrtimbt +6, Cybe +6, and 6 more...

Damn that was fresh and funny.

Oh hell, he is actually author of my most beloved OreImo work.

Base +9, Eden of Shirock +6, AlfredHoneyBuns +6, tc_hold +9, biscardone +7, shuntensatsu +16, sarg2gars +2, alllifeinfate +6, soul saber +6, Cybe +6

pg. 1: After that drama before, we secretly followed behind you, Sensei > We secretly followed you from behind after all that drama earlier, Sensei
pg. 1: If anyone sees us at these times, > If anyone sees us at this time,
pg. 2: Your family must've been worried > Your families must be worried
pg. 2: Look heavy > Looks heavy
pg. 2: So Sensei also wears his sunglasses at home too > So Sensei wears his sunglasses at home too
pg. 4: Got the evidence in my camera [ RAW: 証拠写真ゲット > Photographic evidence, get! ]
pg. 5: Just in case, you're snitching on us. > Just in case you decide to snitch on us
pg. 6: Let's take it all off at once this way > Let's take it all off in one go (or just ignore the second part, "Let's take it all off!" "Let's get these off!"
pg. 7: It's as big as his face. [顔と同じぐらい] > It's as big as my face (why would she be comparing his dick to his face?)
pg. 8: His glans is so bulgy > His glans are so bulgy, or, His glans bulge out
pg. 8: They're measuring every inches of me > They're measuring every inch of me... (Also, this translation is wrong [RAW: 品評] means criticize or comment, not measure (also there's no mention of his body or his bits bro))
pg. 9: that's been quite a long time > that's quite a long time
pg. 12: normally this would absolutely be an extra charge > normally we'd absolutely charge extra for this
pg. 12: She has been barely able to wait for this moment (the moment here is superfluous)
pg. 13: This is probably the first time Ai-chan ever making that face > This is probably the first time Ai-chan's ever made that face, or, This is probably the first time I've ever seen Ai-chan make a face like that
pg. 16: But Sensei doesn't seem to have had your fill yet, haven't you? > But Sensei doesn't seem to have had his fill yet, has he?, or, But it doesn't seem like Sensei's had his fill yet, have you?

:((
i kinda think if i went over the raws a lot of the translation would be wrong too since even the things that just seemed like small grammar errors had mistranslations in them
it's always completely okay if you're not 100% comfortable with English, but if you bring that into you translations, then it becomes sorta a problem
it's a bit disappointing because i did enjoy the type-setting and the font choices a lot, so i hope you can find a proofreader to further polish your translations
good luck man

Base +12, magico alverman +15, Spooky Ghost Butts +7, cynamonbunz +38, musoukaXIV +10, AlfredHoneyBuns +6, sonnytag123 +15, zxczxcasdasd +7, OutOfOptions +7, Fr33sh00t +6, Mandraken +6, SpaceCamel +6, newmn84 +10, and 12 more...

Isn't the plural of glans glandes?

Base +16

thanks to @Mr_Person (I've just taken a sample). I'm adding some of my own mistakes to tag.

General comment: some of your translation is EXTREMELY awkward mostly because you try to stick 1:1 to Japanese structures, phrases, and expressions. Translating means keeping the original intent, meaning, and tone while also making it sound natural in the target language.

Editing comment: your text is too big/doesn't have proper spacing 95% of the time. Typesetting guide: https://web.archive.org/web/20190406011154/https://fallensyndicate.wordpress.com/typesetting-tutorial/

pg. 1: If anyone sees us at these times, > If anyone sees us at this time,
pg. 2: Look heavy > Looks heavy
pg. 4: Got the evidence in my camera [ RAW: 証拠写真ゲット > Photographic evidence, get! ]
pg. 5: Just in case, you're snitching on us. > Just in case you decide to snitch on us
pg. 6: Let's take it all off at once this way > Let's take it all off in one go (or just ignore the second part, "Let's take it all off!" "Let's get these off!"
pg. 7: It's as big as his face. [顔と同じぐらい] > It's as big as my face (why would she be comparing his dick to his face?)
pg. 8: They're measuring every inches of me > They're measuring every inch of me...
pg. 9: that's been quite a long time > that's quite a long time
pg. 13: This is probably the first time Ai-chan ever making that face > This is probably the first time Ai-chan's ever made that face, or, This is probably the first time I've ever seen Ai-chan make a face like that
pg. 16: But Sensei doesn't seem to have had your fill yet, haven't you? > But Sensei doesn't seem to have had his fill yet, has he?, or, But it doesn't seem like Sensei's had his fill yet, have you?

p.20 you're pretty sensitive in here > remove "in". she's talking about his nipples
p.23 please give them to our pussy > give it (jizz)
p.24 we're gonna be addicted to this > we're gonna get addicted to this

Last edited on 15 July 2022, 21:01.

Base +17, Spooky Ghost Butts +7, cynamonbunz +38, zxczxcasdasd +7, Fr33sh00t +6, Glovelove. +20, rockingoldensamurai +7, bananaramadama-sama +7, czerkill +10, jindoko90 +6, funk_u_up +12

@Mr_Person and @cutegyaru:
Thanks for the feedback! I'd absolutely love it if you go through the raw so that I could improve my Japanese.
Regarding the proofreader, I had asked if someone was willing to collaborate in the forum quite a while ago, but no one seems interested. Would any of you be interested in going for a pass at my future scripts?

pg. 4: Got the evidence in my camera [ RAW: 証拠写真ゲット > Photographic evidence, get! ]
> The 和製英語(?) was deliberate removed to better follow the previous bubbles (>Okaay~ We got him! >Got... Him? >Got the evidence in my camera [roll]!)

pg. 7: It's as big as his face. [顔と同じぐらい] > It's as big as my face (why would she be comparing his dick to his face?)
> I understand that both 'big' and 'my/his' is in the implied scope (literal translation would be "It's as xxx as xxx face."), but digging through wiki (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_head) indicates that the average woman's face would be around 12.1cm... That's far smaller than the artist's intended size of his pecker, so leeway was taken since whose face it is was implied in a later pass of the script.

pg. 8: 品評されている…
>Honestly, I truly feel that 'measuring' feels more natural than 'commenting on/criticizing me' at that bit. Might not be the most literal translation, I guess.

Further question, in Part 1 Pg.6, お金払ってくれればいいんだけど, I'm having trouble with localizing the 'ask for favor/sympathizing' nature of -くれる. How would you translate that without it coming off as being too rigid?

@cutegyaru
Yeah, typesetting being too big was personal style since a vote in my (non-H manga) Discord came up with lots of the readers using their mobile phones to the deed and preferred the bold & oversized texts, so I kinda want to keep it legible too for those poor folks with 5inch screens.
Though it's prolly has bitten me in the ass more than a few times, such as trying to excessively trim the sentences at the expense of natural flow, I'll keep yours in mind for future releases.
Also, by spacing, do you mean the heading or the optical kerning?

Base +9, cynamonbunz +38, Mossberg590 +6, rockingoldensamurai +7, bananaramadama-sama +7

What a good teacher.

Base +7, rockingoldensamurai +7, ABDC +6, Person8 +7, Yams1 +6, darklord1235 +9

@decidua
Spacing as in leading (the space between each line.) This is font-dependent.

No offence to your phone-reading audience, but if you read manga on your phone, you're fucking stupid. I wouldn't cater to them lol

Re proofreading: I have a million projects, but feel free to join the [head empty] Discord.

Base +17, DaxterSpeed -10, MC Arisato +6, cynamonbunz +38, Claustric -6, BlueSmoke +9, rockingoldensamurai +7, r3d_alert -6, cathodex2 -6, Cornuthaum -6

@cutegyaru
Well, I'm screwed. All my preferred font choices got banged up 100% auto-leading that came out 2-3x their actual size so I need to adjust them manually. Do you have an example of a good leading for non-All-Caps but lowercase letters?
Honestly, that was my thought too, until analytics from our site gave out 70%-ish of the readers are from SEAs and most likely are horny teens/adolescents from developing countries with smartphone as their only devices.
Cool, I only translate once in a blue moon anyway. If there's someone in [head empty] Discord willing to proofread my garbled mess, I'll be sure to join.

Also, p.s. while I got your attention, CMIIW but I think I've seen you recommending Image>Mode>Grayscale as the way to convert to grayscale in PS.
This is rather bad because PS by default from installation uses Dot Gain (15% or 20% I believed) as their standard Gray working space, which will noticeably boost the shadows as it's intended for printed media (paper & ink reflection and all that). It's better to use Edit>Convert to Profile>sGray for a nearly 1:1 conversion from sRGB. From other color spaces, using perceptual intent and combination with BPC or dithering should work.

Base +9, cynamonbunz +38, rockingoldensamurai +7, bananaramadama-sama +7

I rarely go into conversion details nowadays on EH because really people should do their own homework, but yes, use sGray when you mess around the color settings for greyscale. There's a neat guide floating out there by LWB.

Leading: there's no "guide" for this - it's really just visual. If you want good examples of leading, take a look at pro stuff (example: /g/2189680/c98518d258/). It's also hard for me to tell you how to adjust because I think the first thing that should be adjusting is your font size. Hell, even my leading is sometimes shit.

Discord: lots of resources and experienced scanlators. Can't promise you people will PR everything you do, but you'll at least have access to some good stuff.

Base +17, cynamonbunz +38, rockingoldensamurai +7, bananaramadama-sama +7, wootwoot123 +6

We need more Doujin like this! Less ones with a fat ugly bastard! More with a huge muscled dude!

Sooo much better than the ones where the girl is cute, but get hit with revulsion from the fellows form.

Base +6, cynamonbunz +38, piaiteort548 +6, alkhgfladg +6, MAZIGA +6, shuntensatsu +16, pesc +8, zodaloo +6, jetfin +7, Generotic +8, MelmothTheWanderer -30, Person8 -7, valkyrur7 +6, and 8 more...

@decidua:

Your typesetting is good. Majority of manga readers nowadays are on phone so there is nothing wrong with catering to the mass.

Base +9, pesc +8, cynamonbunz -30, Sweet Breaker +7, Alaephant -7, biscardone -7, Manjukusuri -12, skitts -8, Estel37 -8, sohaiz -6, wolfywood33 -18, EvilSanta -6, notfunnyguy -6

The sunglasses stay on during sex.

Base +9, Reach +6, Yams1 +6, xLucia~ +7, darklord1235 +9, Zblayde +6, Chiefdefender -6, ChaseRaph69 +6, Cybe +6, Arcoirys +6, abrickhouse +6

Hahahaahah, he scared the S&%T out of them as soon as he took off his glasses!! xD

Base +12, Bookrat15 +6, darklord1235 +9

I can't help but wonder if she actually said "maidenless one" or if that was a the translators putting in a meme

Base +6, Yams1 +6, Bookrat15 +6, Zblayde +6, JumpingJellybeans +6

End? END??? Come on we need more of these!!

Base +6, Danjian +6, avrelivs +6, darklord1235 +9, Zblayde +6, Brego1 +6, gabriellupin +5, Cybe +6, Syerathe +13

Just what kind of gaze does he has. He tamed them with just one look LOL

Base +7

you 2 are under my genjutsu

Base +6