I am adopting myself to a bigger group to learn properly, thank you and good day :)

Raw can be found here: /g/2007051/45cb44dc27/
Nice crossdressing story, thanks for sharing!

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You'd benefit from a proofreader as well, the English is a bit iffy at points, which I think could be attributed to the fact that the syntax sticks a bit closely to the original Japanese, but there are some obvious mistakes that really shouldn't have made it in. Also look up some guides for cleaning, it's a bit jarring.

Page 3.

Your TL: I wonder what you will ask of me
RAW text: どうかな．．．モノの方がよかった．．．？
Author’s intent: He’s not pondering as to what he’ll get asked, he’s pondering as to whether the dude likes his gift, which is why he says , いや 嬉しい，being like, no no, I do like it, I’m happy.

Page 5.

Your TL: You look like a girl, looks good!
RAW text: 女の子みたいな格好だし．．．
Author’s intent: You’ve attributed it to the wrong person, it’s the trap saying it. Flows from the last sentence, he’s saying like, “Besides this…makes me look like a girl…”

Your TL: I…have to do anything you ask, right…?
RAW text: なんでもいうこと聞くんだよね．．．？
Author’s intent: You’ve attributed it to the wrong person again, it’s the dude saying it, “You said you’d listen to anything I had to say, didn’t you…?”

Your TL: I wonder what I should with a doll like you (also you missed the do)
RAW text: でも 人形さん？ って一体なにすればいいの．．．？
Author’s intent: Attributed to the wrong person again, it’s the trap saying it, “But, a doll? Just what the hell am I even supposed to do…?”. I have a hunch you meant to attribute the next text box to the trap but even then the TL is still right.

Page 7:

Your TL: N/A
RAW text: ちょ．．．
Author’s intent: “Wait…”

Page 11:

Your TL: Now then will you be more cute for takkun then!
RAW text: それじゃあ たくさん可愛がってあげるからね！
Author’s intent: 可愛がって is not 可愛い ＋ がって，可愛がる means to give lover, to be affectionate, and you misread たくさん（沢山）as the dudes name. “Okay then, I’ll give you lots of love!”

Page 13:

Your TL: It doesn’t look cute for a doll so let’s take it out!
RAW text: かわいいお人形さんには似合わないから脱いじゃおうね
Author’s intent: “It doesn’t suit such a cute doll, so let’s take them off (them being the boxers)”, you were basically right, but I think saying it doesn’t look cute for a doll, and saying it doesn’t suit such a cute doll, is different enough that I’d consider this a mistake

Page 16:

Your TL: Stop it…
RAW text: いかせて
Author’s intent: He’s asking to let him cum, since the dude just stopped jerking him off abruptly, not asking him to let go

Page 17:

Your TL: I’ll come, was it?
RAW text: いかせて だっけ？
Author’s intent: Pretty much same mistake as the last, he’s like “woah why’d you tell me to let you cum bro, wtf??”

Page 22:

Your TL: That felt really good
RAW text: あんあに気持ちよさそうにしてたんだから
Author’s intent: He’s not just saying that it felt good, it flows into the next bubble where he’s asking him if he’s happy with it, it’s like, “You seemed like you enjoyed it as well” or something bullshit like that

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