Hello E-Hentai!

This is my first translation, but I hope it won't be my last. Due to a busy schedule, this was a long time coming. However, I did find the process super fun at every step of the way. If you have any suggestions or questions about this translation or for the next one, send them my way, I am always looking to improve.

Nice! Thanks for translating this one there is another on this site but it's atrocious. Great job too, I only noticed 2 small things:

Page 12: You Jerk! You're Prepared to do embarrassing stuff like that then just beg for forgiveness!!
I think there is supposed to be an If before You're but the sentence is still a little strange.

Page 16: Uh ... maybe we could rub with our bodies together to feel good...
doesn't need the with

Thanks again!

Base +6, nikgtasa +12, Taedium +6, peekingpanda +16, Hikeikesike -1, Lao Shan Long +7, Zed01 +12, cynamonbunz +38

Nice and sweet first one. And nice to see that you avoided the very very popular rookie trap of using the downscaled 1280x images for editing.
You said that you want to improve, so here are some ways for you to improve:

1. Your font is too bold. Looks like the same or at least very similar to the one doujins.com used during their bold font + bloodbath moans phase a few years ago. It looks a bit like the charcters are shouting all the time. For a sweet yuri manga like here I would have used Chinacat, Fennario or dupree. You can download them for free from sites like dafont.com. More regular good fonts for typesetting are Wild Words, CCVictorySpeech, CCYadaYada or some from the Komika pool.

2. If you translate and typeset the moans clean the bubbles and don't squeeze your tl somewhere in the bubble e.g. /s/05069f8f75/2317875-19 . This is hard to read and looks just kind of weird.

If you don't already know them here some links with helpful recources to improve your typesetting:
https://www.insidescanlation.com/etc/the-idiots-guide-to-editing-manga/guide/main
https://www.ruinevil.com/rawr/editguide/index.html
https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/
https://mangadex.org/title/08e1f85a-bb12-4fe4-aec5-0d7a80b3a261/anonblack-s-typesetting-guide?tab=chapters

Base +20, Taedium +6, peekingpanda +16, Hikeikesike -1, Zed01 +12, cynamonbunz +38, andystevens1997 +8

@Ancient-Alien I will look into the ones you mentioned. The one I used was in a font pack for manga translation if I remember correctly, but if those end up working better, I will definitely choose them next time :). I wanted it to mirror the cutesy style font in the original, which you seemed to take into consideration with those choices. For more traditional font choices in the original manga, I usually use Wild Words.

The moan bubbles were a style I wanted to try from the Viz Jojo translation, but since they make them too hard to read, then I will not use them in the future (and likely make a new version with those revised to have a similar idea but with no Japanese in it) or use them much more sparingly. So thanks for your honesty!

Thank you so much for the links as well. I will look them over to see what other info I can get out of them :).

@CocaRobbins Thank you for the kind words! I looked over the Japanese again to see if there was a better way to do things. For page 12, I think I can change it to You jerk! You're prepared to do embarrassing stuff like that, and then you just beg for forgiveness! The original Japanese was more a this, then this phrase rather than a conditional. For page 16, I was having an issue finding a way to make that particular bit of speech sound natural in English, so I might have had a plain old screw up or I accidentally blended two things I was trying. But thanks for the heads up!

Base +6, Hikeikesike -1, Zed01 +12, _Zap_ +12, Taedium +6, cynamonbunz +38

Man, I didn't realize how much I missed TL notes.

Base +6, superBlast +7

Nice improvements on the typesetting. Looks better now.

Base +20, cynamonbunz +38