I'll try translating this series (Kanojo no Oshigoto + Futari no Oshigoto) ! Feedback on the translation is always welcome !

Chapter 2 : /g/2390532/fbae0bbd46/

Chapters RAW
Kanojo no Oshigoto :
1 : /g/2247941/abbaf9af5b/
2 : /g/2246760/8e25f6ca19/
3 : /g/2261240/2d637852a0/

Support the author here : https://www.fanbox.cc/@niginigirabbit

"My boyfriend" No he's not, this can barely be considered a pity fuck this is straight up fantasy

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Good to see someone else trying to pick this up.
I had contemplated doing this series but the length made me a bit hesitant about starting / committing.

My one feedback is to re-typeset the hearts since it'll look better and be easier.
You'll have to install Japanese fonts but not all of them support the ♡ symbol so watch out for that.
Alternatively, some English fonts also support the heart symbol such as CC Victory Speech.

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@Kyuume Thanks for the feedback ! I've just installed one and it seems to work fine, and it is indeed easier to place accordingly, thanks for the advice !
Also if you were considering doing any chapter of this series (Kanojo or Futari no Oshigoto) don't hesitate and just let me know !

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I don't think this is NTR yet

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Page 1

先輩のこと入学してからずっと・・・
Your TL: Ever since I started high school you...
Intent: He's telling her he's always had his eye on her since he enrolled. In fact, the next two panels show him glancing at her in various situations. "I've been into you ever since I enrolled here..."

Also not sure why you're not translating some of the handwritten text. See page 1 again.

Not that I have specific comments on your editing (besides the fact that you need punctuate consistently and shape your dialogue inside the boxes better), but here's some extra guides:

General resources: https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/
Typesetting: https://web.archive.org/web/20190406011154/https://fallensyndicate.wordpress.com/typesetting-tutorial/
Redrawing: https://web.archive.org/web/20150421210157/http://www.redhawkscans.com/showthread.php?7057-Rain-s-Redraw-Tutorials
Basic cleaning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PANrCwHy630
How to export + more on cleaning: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/902314557077336064/997654450149789757/optimize_image.jpg

edit: typo

Last edited on 29 November 2022, 00:45.

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@cutegyaru
Thanks for the feedback !
I've realized the unfinished sentences tend to give me trouble. For this one, I interpretated it as "Ever since I started high school, you were always on my mind" and that's why I cut it at "you..." but thinking back on it, it clearly wasn't the most clever choice as the intent is not transmitted properly. I think I'm still too preoccupied by the original form, as what I focused on here was mostly keeping the interruption in his sentence rather than the full, clear meaning. I'll try working on this.
Than you for sharing these resources with me too, I'll look into them !

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I don't know if this becomes NTR or not, it's hard to tell from the later chapters. Given this artist's other works, I can't see this going in any other direction, though.

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How does this fit into the timeline of the previous shrine series? I can't crack it for the life of me.

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Ah, so she's the youngest sister from that previous story with the three sisters. Guess this is at least a few years after that, seeing as how she looks different enough to where I didn't recognize her (though I guess what also threw me off is the fact that the middle sister doesn't appear to have aged). I assume that story was never really continued, per se, as the translated chapters we have here ended kind of abruptly, with the possessed guy raping Mitsuba (the main girl here), and I never found more anywhere else.

Here are the links to the translated chapters for that story, if anyone doesn't know about them already and can't be arsed to take the thirty seconds necessary to look them up, themselves:

/g/2130155/f06064b521/
/g/2130166/89eb17aa64/
/g/2130167/9de24ad8fe/

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@Scarron
It's a common mistake for beginners. Trying to maintain Japanese phrases and structures often results in stilted, and sometimes incorrect, translations. The problem is that Japanese is extremely contextual, while English is not.

Try to think of translation as a) maintaining original tone and intent; AND b) making it sound natural in the target language.

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@cutegyaru
It's probably easier said than done but I'll definitely try and keep your advice in mind in the future, thanks !

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