Used some points people had about my translation of Vol. 1 to improve myself, mainly the font.

Also, thanks to animefan71109 for sending me some things that helped me save a lot of time.

Base +1, pesc +8, kaiznell +6, OnlyTheBestH +13, Alcrian +6, blaqkthespian +6, mrweezyer +7, Blacknex +6, froggie1234 +6, iCraveThatPorn +7

RAW: /g/1343162/a02392ea3b/
KOR: /g/1458774/0638ddc197/

Base +32, blaqkthespian +6, ToaKraka +7

Compared to your previous translation this is noticeably better but still a number of things to work on.

For starters, you have your font size set way too high, it looks like you are trying to fill in the entire text box / bubble which on top of making it look like a kids book, appears to me that it's forcing you into weird and unnatural sounding wording. See: page 38 "I feel more than usual..."

I can see that you are paying attention to alternating font sizes but dial it back a bit, give yourself and the reader some space to breathe. It shouldn't be jarring when you go from one page to another and suddenly all of the text is now 3x the size of the last page. Same goes for text on the same page, it can/should be bigger for certain elements but keep it reasonable. You don't want something that is set to size 12 next to something that is set to size 60, it just looks silly and out of place on top of completely overshadowing the smaller text.

As for the translation side from what I have seen, you are misinterpreting quite a lot of things and or glossing over important details in the dialogue.
To give a few examples:
Page 12:
"I'd do anything to be with Ms. Yoshimura."
俺も…吉村さんとセックスしたい > I wanna... have sex with Yoshimura-san too

"What if I told you (her secret)"
お前にだけ教えようかな > I guess I'll only tell you (about her secret)

"What kinda place to live is that?"
って言われたけど一体どういうことなんだ > is what he said to me but, what the hell did he mean by that?

Page 13:
Is she here?
吉村さんいる？> Yoshimura-san, are you in here?

If you aren't 100% sure on the meaning please don't just use guesswork and fill in the blank with what you think makes sense. Use a dictionary to look up parts of the sentence you don't fully understand or think has crucial information. You can even use MTL like deepL to set you on the right path in terms of wording something or understanding the context as long as you post edit it and don't use the output 1:1.

If you haven't been doing it, I recommend you read your entire translation start to finish as that will give you a better idea of how it flows as a whole and if there is any awkward dialogue.
Example: page 45 where you have "I..." connecting to another "...I" which is just extremely awkward to read.

Base +3, OnlyTheBestH +13, blaqkthespian +6, cybeast93 +20, hobohobo +30, Pr1de +19, Morisakitaku +6, zukuenft -9, DRevan +7, ToaKraka +7, goodolchap1 +6, GeniusDuck +6, badbone +13, and 12 more...

Hoping this series continues to get translated

Base +6, blaqkthespian +6, mrweezyer +7, _iwanttofuckingdie +6, punkex +6, Blacknex +6, zdude18 +6, hazari_13 +6, Falconartist +6, iCraveThatPorn +7, froggie1234 +6, pesc +8, Kurona +7

weird how these guys are always so willing to correct but won't offer any actual help on the project, why don't you get in there and help him you son of a bitch

Base +6, LingeringMemories -14, bladeguy22 -8, HighSpecDolphin -8, Pr1de -19, sirlachdanan -30, cant_catch_rabbit -6, KanataE -6, Kilroy94 -6, Sibushang -6, Otaku1111989 -6, pesc -8, knightdtd -10, and 4 more...

You can click their name to see what they have uploaded you fucking retard.

If they are writing a paragraph correcting mistakes, 9/10 they generally have their own uploads.

Base +6, cant_catch_rabbit +6, kuki0078 -3, Blacknex +6, GeniusDuck +6, GiveMeThePorn +9

Lmao she's angry that he didn't cum in her mouth fully, what a good girl not wanting to waste any drop.

Base +5

Hi, please check your messages.

Base +9, pesc +8

Basically: "News: Local man ruins everything"
For real, the MC had a private time with a hot girl and he had to ruin it, his supposed friend was actually a dirty liar that threw him under the bus at the first opportunity and because he is not as careful with the girl now the other boy found out...man, what a mess

Base +9