Something about seeing the word "missus" being used here makes this incredibly funny.
Also, as cutegyaru would say because I stole this from him, "Wrong resolution. You used the 1280x downsized version of the images. Originals are at 4278 x 6091. Download the archive or the non-downsized torrent (right side.)"

Raws: /g/1607774/42c237330f/

Dunno why you omitted the other pages either.

Edit 1:
Good job for fixing it up along with other stuff.
Huge improvement on the font + typesetting in general so that's nice to see.
I only noticed it now but there's a white border around every page presumably from scanning, it would probably be nice to crop that out.
FYI, there's no real need to change the font like you've done at the top of page 5 unless it's present in the raws or you really want to draw emphasis to it. The same thing applies to rotating text like that except only do it when it's present in the raws. It looks very messy when you randomly rotate it like that.


I noticed quite a few translation errors just from how off beat your TL sounded.

Page 3:
Stop complaining... Even though we made an agreement > Don't complain, I'm compromising with you here already.
Well, it can't be helped... You're getting your prostate massaged right now.. > Well, you can't blame me, you love it when I thrust at your prostate and (next bubble >) make you cum with your ass right?
Suck on this for now. > For now, just get started with your mouth for me.

Page 4:
your making > you're making
Oji-san loooves that kind of stuff . > Oji-san here loves seeing dirty faces like that.
Come on, come on. Use that throat > That's right, use that throat.
best.. > missing a full stop / period, ellipses have 3 of them not two.
Well then... Here I go. > Well then, let's fuck.

Page 5:
It's hitting > It's rubbing against it...! Be a little more explicit / draw reference to the whole prostate thing.
You'll wake Ojou-san up if you're too loud. > You'll wake Ojou-san up if you're this loud.

Page 6:
Have an orgasm! > Cum for me!
Oji-san squeezed it all out too > phew~ You squeezed me dry too huh...
Let's do it again once ojou-san leaves for school tomorrow. > Let's do this again when Ojou-chan is at school tomorrow.
You dumb tanuki... > ...You dirty old fox...

まんざらでもない > Doesn't exactly dislike it

My advice is to proofread your work start to finish as someone reading it for the first time would. This helps you catch unnatural sentences as well as awkward dialogue.

Edit 2:
Honestly, I'm quite happy to see you actively implement changes since most people don't care / do it.
In the future try to be sure of who is saying what and henceforth, convey that to the reader with your word choices.
I'm still not a fan of the font used at the top of page 5 but it is what it is.
If you plan to continue translating and want feedback in the future you can reach me on discord @Kyuume#9874

To whoever reading this, downvote the incomplete and missing cover tags please as those have been fixed.

Last edited on 06 January 2023, 23:24.

Base +4, funk_u_up +13, cybeast93 +20, Kight +15, roasted1111 +6, twixbrand +28, ziggyb +7, DragonClaw +9, ZauberL -8, zackedzzz +12, jessica702 +11, luzup +6, moistnugget21 +6, and 7 more...

Thanks for the feedback. I’ll change it as soon as possible.

Japanese is a difficult language. :(

Edit: I have fixed it. Thank you for the help.

Last edited on 06 January 2023, 18:52.

Base +1, roasted1111 +6, twixbrand +28, DragonClaw +9, zackedzzz +12, Pent72 +6, jessica702 +11, luzup +6, moistnugget21 +6, Syerathe +13, atheistica +6, MechWarriorNY +10, Randomman24 +6, and 5 more...

I would be so turned off if i was the girl to be called again and again "Old man" even during sex honestly, that's the only bad thing about granada sky is that he makes all their efforts to have these damn good bodies worthless if it is just to be called "Male" "man" and such all the fucking time.

Call a girl a girl ! -_-

Last edited on 31 January 2023, 15:29.

Base +6, Rummo -6, ilookfat -8, ziggyb -7, lord jay -6, Kues -6, futanaridamacy -6, BaperNu -9, belac1 +6, porno-mancer -6, XLS1 -8, SilentAnime -14, jessica702 +11, and 5 more...

That What make it hotter tho.

Base +6, XLS1 +8, zackedzzz +12, jessica702 -11, Randomman24 +6, TheDragonRider -3, MultiFetishes +5, somercet +14