Well that was cute.

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02: What was that like? => How was she like? (?)

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This is too precious, I can't even fap to this.

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The "too vanilla to fap to" artist. I'm just here to read the story as well...

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it feels like your TLs are JP to CN to EN but I've just been too lazy to tag them
from skimming the first half or so

001
OG: 光倉先輩！
TL: Mitsukura-sama!
ED: senpai

002
OG: なんだよー興味なしって顔して
TL: "mm~ she's never really been my type"
ED: wrong speaker, wrong meaning. his friend is asking about his look of disinterest. you clearly used the Chinese TL here, which is completely wrong (總覺得她的臉又不是我的菜)

OG: 女子同士で回されちゃ俺たちの方に流れて来ないじゃん
TL: "They're all just crowding around her and not givin' us anything at all"
ED: he's not talking about crowding, he's talking about the distribution of chocolate. you pulled this from the Chinese TL which misinterpreted it as well (女生們都圍著她轉根本都不過來送我們巧克力啊)

OG: おかえしよろ～
TL: "Don't forget about it, ok~?"
ED: this is her letting him know about her expectation of a return gift. the Chinese TL got this right (回禮就拜託了～)

OG: チョロすぎる
TL: "This dumbass"
ED: this is a comment about how easy he is to influence. the Chinese TL got this right (你也太好搞定了)

003
OG: おまえのファンに見つかったら…
TL: "Someone might see"
ED: "if your fans see us, then..." the Chinese TL kinda got this (會被你的粉絲看見的吧...) except they made it more like an assertion than a condition "your fans will see us"

007
OG: 気取ってみせても肝心な時に意気地が無くって
TL: "Ah...I thought I was prepared for this, but I'm still so nervous..."
ED: she's talking about how she's still putting up a front even in a crucial moment

008
OG: こうしてっと昔のまんまだな
TL: "Let's just go back to how we were before, alright?"
ED: he's commenting on how this situation is just like old times (her crying in his arms). the Chinese TL got this wrong (那就這樣維持原樣吧)

009
OG: 変わったこともあるよ
TL: "I don't think...we can just go back now..."
ED: she's refuting his previous statement by saying things actually have changed. the Chinese TL was slightly off here too (也是有能改變的事情的哦) but closer than what you put

OG: 昔はこんなことしたいって気持ちわからなかった
TL: "You have no idea...how long I've waited to do that..."
ED: she's saying in the past she (herself) didn't understand why she wanted to do that. the Chinese TL got this wrong (你肯定不知道以前我就一直想這麼做了吧)

010
OG: ほっとした所為…なのかな… / 気持ちが抑えられなくって
TL: "I'm finally not nervous anymore" / "I don't think I can hold myself back like this..."
ED: she's speculating that she's losing control of her emotions because she's relieved (after confessing). the Chinese TL got this right (是因為放心了...的關係嗎 / 沒法抑制住自己的心意)

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@orasmase The "that" in "What was that like?" is referring to going to the same school. I don't know what the original Japanese is, but from a native English-speaker's perspective it reads fine as-is. We don't ask how things are/were like; it's either how they are/were, or what they are/were like

Unless that's a Britbong thing I'm not familiar with

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