father stealing girl... insta fap 👌

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What a waste of art

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Alright story all things considered. Story should have ended here. But apparently there are untranslated sequel chapters where the author lost his damn mind and the plot gets extremely stupid.

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p.10 オッサンだし適当ヌいときゃ余裕っしょ doesn't mean "An old man! That means it should last longer!". It means the opposite. "An old guy, huh? Should be a piece of cake [to make him cum quick]."

Other comments:

1. Periods? Commas? What are those?
2. Ellipses are 3 dots, not 2.
3. This is full of typos and poor phrasing.
4. Lots of empty bubbles.

rough grammar

p.4 before i know it > knew
p.5 being tease in the nipple > getting your nipple teased
p.7 i might get pregnant if it's not for the rubber > i might have gotten pregnant if it wasn't for the rubber
p.12 i only escape > escaped
p.12 to rest on our guest's futon > this implies it's the futon of a/the unnamed guest, when it's futon FOR a guest
p.12 and my appearances was totally > appearance
p.12 i couldn't even focus about the marriage talk > I couldn't even focus on the conversation about the marriage
p.12 everyday > every day
p.15 still obscenely huge as ever, eh? > Still as obscenely huge as ever, eh?
p.16 he's keeps > he keeps
p.16 reeally > really
p.18 i won't take any complain > i don't want to hear any complaints
p.19 the deeper part of your pussy is still stiff > this is clearly referring to the cervix, so it should be "deepest"
p.23 too bad it has to be covered by condom > a/the condom, but also this phrasing is pretty bad
p.25 just for today test > today's
p.26 me, on the other hand... is still > am still. also it should be "I, on the other hand..."
p.28 how much that bastard toy with > toys
p.29 everyday > every day
p.29 not just me.. it's everyone's effort, okay? > This isn't English. "It's not all thanks to just me. You all did great!"
p.30 father-in-laws > law
p.30 Come on in! > The correct expression for a vehicle is "Hop in!"
p.34 I can't breath > breathe
p.35 You're just a big M > this only really makes sense in Japanese where M/S is used. "You're just a massive sub."
p.39 at least use this > technically refers to multiple condoms, so "these"
p.40 your skill will put any hookers to shame > would put any hooker
p.41 i'd rather going raw > go raw
p.41 i'm going to put a stain on > to stain or to defile
p.42 after all this year > all these years
p.43 into those of the sex slave > that
p.47 coming outta nowhere > that came out of nowhere. the action "coming" is technically over.
p.47 the bugss > I thought it was a singular bug?
p.50 he ejaculated twice and still full of vigor > but he's still
p.53 so I brought it out > he's referring to "videos", so "them out"
p.54 do you wear it > are you wearing it
p.55 you sure get chubbier > got
p.56 i masturbated 3 times a week > i masturbate
p.57 i'm trying to take it off > either referring to clothes or panties, so should be plural "them"

Last edited on 18 March 2023, 22:45.

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^ this guy clearly englishes.

in my defense some of those are intentionally written that way for dramatic effect.

But I'm reeeeeallly thankful for your correction! please do continue until the last page, I might edit them later.

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I'm not your proofreader. I'm just doing this to tag your gallery and bring awareness to the issue.

Basic understanding of English and going through your script once would catch 90% of your mistakes. Also, write your scripts in a Word doc or Google Doc. Autocorrect is pretty decent.

(ALL your translations suffer from the same problems, by the way.)

>in my defense some of those are intentionally written that way for dramatic effect.
This makes no sense. You're just making basic grammatical errors.

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You know, with how promiscuous and "sexually liberated" people are nowadays, this is probably not that far from the truth. Your wife will likely have more men rammed through her than you can count before she met you, and will statistically be likely to cheat on you throughout your marriage. Of course, this applies to men too, it's why the divorce and illegitimate children rate is ridiculous in the West.

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@ChronicLogic
Nah, it just bombed on sales so the author cancelled it himself and he ven admits it should have been ended at chapter 6 lol.

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Mosaic censorship in doujin should be considered a crime.

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The 7th chapter is missing.

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I don't think they ever explain why the father is doing this to his son. Also, the drawing is just inconsistent, like MC dick wasn't small by any mean in the first chapter but by the 5-6th chapter, his dick shrunk by a lot. Great art but just poor story overall, I guess that to be expected from NTR in general.

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