Machine translation? Because I can't possibly see how a human translator could consider "If you're kidding me, I'm going home" - "making fun of you?" as a reasonable conversation, even without her obviously repeating his words back to him. And then there's of course the questionable typesetting and occasional mistakes like some sentences starting in lower case only making the whole thing even more of a headache to read...

Base +8, Nakama_P +6

Are you sure you should be offering commissions? Besides the text reading a bit awkward your typesetting sucks. Left aligned text and no comic fonts are basic mistakes. If you want to charge money for your work the level of what you have to deliver as bare minimum goes up significantly.

These links can help you on the typesetting part:
https://www.insidescanlation.com/etc/the-idiots-guide-to-editing-manga/guide/main
https://www.ruinevil.com/rawr/editguide/index.html
https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/
https://mangadex.org/title/08e1f85a-bb12-4fe4-aec5-0d7a80b3a261/anonblack-s-typesetting-guide?tab=chapters

Base +20, cutegyaru +23, funk_u_up +13, KillerPenguin55 +9

004
OG: ここ…教えて欲しいんだけど…
TL: "Erh...Don't you wanna teach me that?"
ED: she's not asking if he wants to teach

OG: 隣の席の有坂さん僕はこの人が嫌いだ
TL: "I hate the person who sits beside me, Arasaki-san."
ED: her name is Arisaka

005
OG: ふざけてないよ？
TL: "Making fun of you?"
ED: she's not asking a question, she's saying she's not "kidding him" (to reuse your TL)

006
OG: 舌…入って…っ
TL: "My tongue...is inside..."
ED: other way around

009
OG: も～っと気持ちいいよ？
TL: "Much more pleasurable, isn't it?"
ED: she isn't asking if it's more pleasurable

013
OG: はー
TL: "Right..."
ED: he's not actually saying anything here

015
OG: 勉強のストレスを発散するかのように
TL: "As if to relieve the stress of studying."
ED: the sentence doesn't end here

OG: 僕は有坂さんと何度もやった
TL: "How many times have I fucked Arisaka-san?"
ED: he's not asking a question

019
OG: ひろとくん予備校はどんな感じ？
TL: "What's the course preparatory like for Hiroto-kun??"
ED: course preparatory?

OG: 先にどこか休めるとこ
TL: "Why can't we find a place to rest"
ED: she isn't asking why they can't find a place to rest

Base +32, Jouven +8, cutegyaru +23, cybeast93 +22, funk_u_up +13, a bad idea +7, KillerPenguin55 +9, pond39267 +6