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naice and long

Base +6, Barak93 +4

I don't get why the guy needs to be bald and eyeless, though.

I know the hot chick is the feature but this just looks horribly out of place.

Base +8, Barak93 -4

The idea around the faceless bald guy is to make the reader think that guy might be them, as you see i made a lot of pov panels too i really would like to give that feeling that the bald guy is actually the reader, i can't say i'm doing in the best way but i'm trying XD

Base +6, cromulus +6, Barak93 +4

As of gallery ID 2610595 on 07/15/23:

Page 2, panel 2: "Let's go at your place" likely should be "Let's go to your place"

Page 3, panel 1: "I preorder it two months ago" s/b "I preordered it two months ago" (past tense)

Page 3, panel 1: "Better when someone else pull it out for you" s/b "Better when someone else pulls it out for you"

Page 3, panel 2: "Don't worry I'll teach you" s/b "Don't worry, I'll teach you"

Page 4, panel 1: "than you need to loose it a little bit before to put the beads inside" s/b "then you need to loosen it a little bit before you put the beads inside"

Page 6, panel 1: "Come on take the beads" probably s/b "Come on and get the beads".
Note: There are a lot of ways to phrase this one. "Take" is a poor choice because it implies removal and adding to the subject's possession, which is rather the opposite of what is going on here.

Page 10, panel 1: "Don't pull them all at once ok? Just go one by one for starters" Ok, but kind of awkward. Would roll better as "Don't pull it all out at once, ok? Just go one by one to start". "For starters" is an American turn of phrase, but it is used as the first of a list (implicit or explicit) and is almost always placed at the beginning of the statement, not the end.

Page 11, panel 1: "It's so much better when someone else pull them out" s/b "It's so much better when someone else pulls it out". "Them" is plural, only one is being removed. "Pulls one" would also work.
Note: "They" and "them" are generally for subjects, not objects. Using those terms for objects should be avoided.

Page 11, panel 2: "My ass is feeling so good" s/b "My ass feels so good". Unless her ass has gained sentience, her ass isn't feeling anything, she is.

Page 12, panel 2: "I can feel it it's coming" This either should be broken up into two separate clauses ("I can feel it! It's coming!") or "I can feel it coming!")

Page 16, panel 1: "Oh my goddess!" Is this supposed to be an anime reference? Otherwise, it s/b be "Oh my goodness!"

Page 18, panel 2: "It's like a little donuts" s/b "It's like a little donut" She only has one sphincter, so it is only one donut.

Page 21, panel 2: "Or I'll go complete crazy I'm about to lose control!" this s/b "Or I'll go complete crazy. I'm about to lose control!" It needs to be broken up into two declarative statements.

Page 22, panel 1: "Hey, do you mind if we change pose?" s/b "Hey, do you mind if we change poses?"

Page 24, panel 1: "Don't worry I'll take the lead" s/b "Don't worry, I'll take the lead"

Page 25, panel 2: "Do you mind if we change pose?" s/b "Do you mind if we change poses?". "Change positions?" would work as well. Also "he-he" is generally "hehe" (no hyphen).

Page 26, panel 1: "We are doing it standing of course" s/b "We are doing it standing, of course" Use commas to separate sentence elements. A statement then a comment are two separate elements.

General note: Periods are an important piece of punctuation in English not using periods makes it difficult to determine when a thought begins or ends or even if a thought is complete or just left

Base +11, Barak93 +4

Another example of a Western user using Japanese Censorship to paywall.

Base +8