Hey Everyone. How you all are doing? Well, the first episode of my first original series is finally here. You all voted for it, and it's my job to serve. I hope that you all enjoy it. What's the story? It's this!
The forces of the Evil Demon Queen Ruby have emerged and have begun turning innocent citizens into her mind-controlled minions. However, they are opposed by an unlikely hero: Scarlet, The Justice Succubus
Scarlet is a mysterious succubus who fights against Queen Ruby’s forces. With her mastery and expertise knowledge of corruption, she became the greatest hero against the forces of evil. But due to her behavior and her methods (using her own corrupted minions against the enemy), Scarlet is unpopular with other heroes and citizens alike.
However, Scarlet does have one loyal fan: Cassy Miller. Against everyone’s consensus, Cassy can see Scarlet as the hero that the city needs.
Now follow the exploits and accomplishments of Scarlet, The Justice Succubus.
This is just the preview. I will release a public, censored version on the 12th of Feb. If you want to get the story early, become a supporter by joining my Patreon or/and Fanbox. And if you want, come join my Discord for further story discussion and better communication with me
Now this is what I want to see. I hope it doesn't lead to yet another generic bad end. We need more "heroic mind control" and "reverse corruption" stuff out there. There's so much untapped potential beyond the typical rape and fallen hero and "bad end" stuff. Where's all the magical girls recruiting villains to their team with a Lesbian Care Bear Stare? Where's the bandit who fails her attempt to ambush a prince and gets hypnotized and brainwashed into his loyal knight? Where's... like... a fantasy RPG heroine who loses in the final battle with the Demon King and is transformed into his succubus slave, but then a mid-level hero who's the Monster Tamer class manages to "save" her by taming her? Heck, if nothing else, you'd think there'd be more stuff involving consensual mind control the same way people do consensual bondage.
But I digress. Looking forward to seeing more of this.
Good ideas, but you desperately need an English proof reader. Also, since you use a lot of dark scenery, you should try using a white stroke for text instead of a black one, especially for darker text colours. At the moment, the text is often a headache to read.