Tagging rough translation:

05
OG:卑し顔で罵られたい
TL:I want you to degrade me
ED:Missing 卑し顔で

05
OG:「ゲームで負けたら何でもする」言ったのは私ですけど...
TL:I know I said "I'll do anything if I lost" but... I still didn't think you'd ask for something like this...
ED:You omitted the part about playing a videogame. Your tl doesn't make it clear how she lost.

05
OG:嫌いな人はいないよ！
TL:I don't think there's anyone I don't like! (maybe)
ED:He's saying there's probably not a single person that hates maids.

06
OG:お願いされなくてもいつでも...しますよ？
TL:Then, if it's you... I'll do anthing you ask... whenever. Wherever.
ED:She's saying he doesn't have to ask her to roleplay.

08
OG:まじだーーーーッッ
TL:There's no way!
ED:He's stating the opposite actually.

09
OG:強 強
TL:More! More!
ED:That kanji doesn't mean more.

10
OG:うわぁ 私...お姉ちゃんの隣でおもちゃでイッちゃった
TL:W-woah! Hey, does anyone else see that toy... that dropped next to Midori!
ED:Made up line. They never find out she was using a toy, much less cumming.

14
OG:一気に...奥まで...ッ
TL:You're thrusting so deep already
ED:This line is from sensei's POV. He's also saying he put his entire dick inside in one go.

16
OG:今度はこっちからいくよ...ッ
TL:Let's try this position right quick...
ED:He's just saying he'll take the lead.

17
OG:子宮潰しちゃうくらい奥とどいてるよッ
TL:I'm reaching all the way... ...deep into your womb!
ED:Missing 潰しちゃうくらい

20
OG:んもー！おっそいよー！
TL:Hey! There you are!
ED:She's telling them they're late.

20
OG:もしかしてサボってたんじゃないのー⁉
TL:Seriously... putting all of that work on us.
ED:She's asking them if they were ditching work.

20
OG:何かツヤツヤしてるし...
TL:And... You two seem a bit-
ED:Missing ツヤツヤ

20
OG:もーんじゃ四人でラストスパートいくよー！
TL:Okay... Well, there's only a few things left. Come on, you two!
ED:Completely made up line.

20
OG:言えるワケない...ッッ
TL:I can't believe Midori said that...
ED:He's saying he wouldn't tell anyone what they did.

21
OG:おさげハンドル＆尻尾しこしこはメイドミドリならでは？のプレイでお気に入りです
TL:Is the tail and hairdo only unique to Midori? That type of lewd play is the best!
ED:おさげハンドル＆尻尾しこしこ don't just mean tail and hairdo. Also, no mention of them being unique to Midori.

21
OG:それか今回残念な立ち回りをさせてしまったモモイの純愛えっちとか
TL:That or some lovey-dovey sex with Momoi, which I unfortunately passed over or this.
ED:No mention of the author "passing over" Momoi.

21
OG:トーン貼り手伝って下さったリョウコ先輩に大大大感謝!!
TL:And super super super thanks to my friend Ryoko for helping me paste in the tones!
ED:He's very polite when he mentions his SENPAI Ryoko.

Base +27, roshardobon +14, nemo_adams +10, nodire +6, dj756 +6, mmmja +17, dankestdungeon +24, sirlachdanan +39, as102 +13, darkwing42 +53, Th3 Sl0th +6, Coledas Ukgent -15, jack955 +6, and 12 more...

One shit translation wasn't enough, how about a second one!

Base +9, Gawrons +6, nemo_adams +10, dj756 +6, LordBlubberNuggets +6, elefat224 +7, FlandreAkabane +6, Th3 Sl0th +6, bootthenewt +12, borgo +6, reztex +6, Z4nkur0 +6, Cadavrus +6, and 6 more...

Responding to cybeast...

Thank you for pointing out the flaws. After a little bit of sleep and reading back, I can definitely see your points. However, I'd like to defend some of my translation choices, at least.

"OG:まじだーーーーッッ
TL:There's no way!
ED:He's stating the opposite actually."

While of course "マジだ" means "Really", the line seems to have a meaning of disbelief and surprise at what she's doing. I thought something like "No way" or the like would be more natural in the moment than just a "Really?" or "Seriously."

"OG:強 強
TL:More! More!
ED:That kanji doesn't mean more."

While of course the kanji means more, in this context, the character is increasing the speed of the toy (hence, literally, "stronger, stronger"). But since stronger sounds a bit weird and would've been too long for the text box, I went with a shorter "more, more" to have the same meaning as like "more speed/power" or whatever.

"OG:うわぁ 私...お姉ちゃんの隣でおもちゃでイッちゃった
TL:W-woah! Hey, does anyone else see that toy... that dropped next to Midori!
ED:Made up line. They never find out she was using a toy, much less cumming"

That's definitely my bad. I totally misread the speaker of that line. I thought the other girls were talking in that line, and hence calling out/referencing Midori.

"OG:今度はこっちからいくよ...ッ
TL:Let's try this position right quick...
ED:He's just saying he'll take the lead."

While I understand, I will defend it and say they do end up changing positions in the end. Though not a literal translation, it still gets the core meaning of the line down.

"OG:子宮潰しちゃうくらい奥とどいてるよッ
TL:I'm reaching all the way... ...deep into your womb!
ED:Missing 潰しちゃうくらい"

I guess at the time, the thought of translating someone saying "crushing deep into your womb" sounded a bit...cringe, but I guess since it does alter the meaning of the line, I'll admit I should've re-included that.

"OG:んもー！おっそいよー！
TL:Hey! There you are!
ED:She's telling them they're late."

While true, the line does have a general sense of being annoyed at them skipping their duties and "being late" in helping them. I feel like in English, people wouldn't say "You're late" as likely as something other phrase of annoyance of where two people suddenly disappeared.

"OG:もしかしてサボってたんじゃないのー⁉
TL:Seriously... putting all of that work on us.
ED:She's asking them if they were ditching work."

While true, the question seems to be with an annoyance that, in ditching their work, they left a bunch of duties up to everyone else. I wanted to go for more that meaning rather than a simple "Were you two ditching work?"

"OG:もーんじゃ四人でラストスパートいくよー！
TL:Okay... Well, there's only a few things left. Come on, you two!
ED:Completely made up line."

If I'm right, this line literally says "Well, the four of us are going to go for the home stretch!" or something like that. In other words, implying the job is near completion and they got a final stretch to do. And with that 四人で, which seems to be including Midori, I decided to tackle that meaning in a more natural-sounding way. That is, of course, if I properly understood this line, which I may not have.

OG:言えるワケない...ッッ
TL:I can't believe Midori said that...
ED:He's saying he wouldn't tell anyone what they did.

Okay that makes more sense. Admittedly, the use of 訳ない was tripping me up, so I didn't know how to properly get the line's sentiment out.

OG:おさげハンドル＆尻尾しこしこはメイドミドリならでは？のプレイでお気に入りです
TL:Is the tail and hairdo only unique to Midori? That type of lewd play is the best!
ED:おさげハンドル＆尻尾しこしこ don't just mean tail and hairdo. Also, no mention of them being unique to Midori.

Admittedly, as I was finishing this up earlier, I misread ハンドル several times, so definitely yeah, that line is mistranslated.

OG:それか今回残念な立ち回りをさせてしまったモモイの純愛えっちとか
TL:That or some lovey-dovey sex with Momoi, which I unfortunately passed over or this.
ED:No mention of the author "passing over" Momoi.

If I read the line correctly, I got the sense the author was saying this work was "standing in the way of them", i.e.: they were prioritizing this instead of a Momoi work. I went with "passed over" to kinda communicate that sense, but looking back, I should've said "but I had to finish this first" or the like.

"OG:トーン貼り手伝って下さったリョウコ先輩に大大大感謝!!
TL:And super super super thanks to my friend Ryoko for helping me paste in the tones!
ED:He's very polite when he mentions his SENPAI Ryoko."

That's true. Admittedly, when translating, I personally dislike keeping a Japanese word the same when it has a good English word or an equivalent means to express it. That said, I should've thought more carefully on how to communicate the respectful title, as a "friend" while not inaccurate, doesn't work as well.

But yeah, I won't disagree with the tagging of rough translations, as there's a lot of mistakes I oughta noticed. Admittedly, the limits of text-boxes tripped me up in a way I didn't find usually happening because I was trying to figure out ways to word things that both sounded natural and were short enough to fit in small spaces. But I should've lingered on this one more. Not gonna argue any further and I'll just improve in the future. Cheers for bringing them to attention!

Base +1, dj756 -6, hykez -8, elefat224 -7, jack955 -6, dankestdungeon -24, sirlachdanan -30, Mindreader -7, Qwertylamb -7, Th3 Sl0th -6, chosbro -6, lurkinhere -6, reztex -6, and 10 more...

Man fuck this I'm just gonna move this to the top of the queue and do it myself.
Third time's the charm for this poor doujin.

Base +7, christantoan +11, elefat224 +7, jack955 +6, mmmja +17, Fills +6, dankestdungeon +24, sirlachdanan +39, dj756 +6, darkwing42 +53, GiveMeThePorn +9, Th3 Sl0th +6, ZaHallen +6, and 23 more...

Japanese (RAW): /g/2866689/3defd09b06/
Chinese (Translation): /g/2849108/cf05a4d06e/
English (Translation): /g/2875349/0a50d0c195/
Korean (Translation): /g/2850582/bf6edd8b33/

Base +45

Localization and heavy editing just make an inaccurate translation worse. Get your priorities right.

Base +6, jack955 +6, ZaHallen +6, Cadavrus +6, rick-kun +9, Myrtoa +7, Keric22 +7, VITA135 -3, cerealtender -5, facethatbook +6

Midori didn't deserve this...

Base +6, cerealtender -5, wasted my love +2, SirStreak +6, Shino22 +7

How the hell did the same doujin get two different poor translations one day apart?

Base +26, Cadavrus +6, coleccionista903 +6, painly +6, RefinedFapper +6