I made this shoddy translation using a combination of free Optical Character Recognition software, looking up kanji on Wikipedia, google translate, and a lot of inference. If anyone who actually knows Japanese would like to make a better English translation, please be my guest. I am passionate about unbirth and see a lot of Japanese unbirth doujinshi out there that have unfortunately remained untranslated for years and I didn't want this to become another one.

raw: /g/2916989/d8be176761/

I thought this was just another unedited MTL but since you seems to have put at least some effort into it and it’s pretty short, I’ll mention the mistakes I found:

Page 2:
私も彼女として なにかして あげたいけど...
彼女 is girlfriend and not “her” here, so it's “As your girlfriend, I also want to do something for you, but…

“You want to come inside me?” -> I think “go” is better than "come” here, especially since the latter can be misinterpreted as “cum”.

Page 3:

濡らした方が いいよね･･･ “It's better to get it wet It's good…” -> “It's better to get it wet, right…”

“I don't know, but…” -> In this context, I think “though” is more appropriate than “but”. Or just I don’t know.

Page 4
“I’ll put it in” -> “I’ll put you in”

入ってく…っ♪ is more “He’s/You’re going in…” than “Come in”, but that might be a nitpick

Page 5:
“It’s going deeper and deeper” -> “You are going deeper and deeper”
“You’re inside me” -> I would say “Having you inside me…” for better flow.
“Hnn... If you move like that inside, I’ll…” -> Could be another nitpick, but she exactly says “I’ll also”

Page 6:
“Me too...l... I think I'm going to cum…tsu” -> “I’m also…about to…cum”
“This is pretty amazing…maybe” -> This might be…pretty amazing”
“Biyurururu” -> “Spluuurt” is more recognisable for a cumming sound effect.
“Do it again” -> “Shall we do it again...?”

Now that I’m done, your translation makes it seem that you are also not very good at English (most of the mistakes have to do with the English side rather than the Japanese one), which is weird since your comment above is well written.

Some advices if you keep going:

- Get better at English and/or proofread your work. If people can tell your translation is bad just from the english side of it, that means you really fucked up.
- Use a more appropriate font, the go-to being CC Wild Words. As I said at the beginning, without your comment, I would have taken it for yet another one of those low-effort machine translated and edited works.
- I know it’s easier said than done, but rather than making half-assed translations, you should use that time to actually learn Japanese. At least to the extent where you are able to tell when the machine is messing up.
- If you are really going to stick with MTL, at least use ChatGPT. It’s the best of the lot since you can feed it context and it can remember what was said before. Though even it can make mistakes and shouldn’t be trusted blindly, hence why I advise getting good enough to at least be able to fact-check it.
- At the very least, avoid MTLing recent works. As you mentioned, there are many older works that are still untranslated, so it would be better to focus on those instead. This way, if you fuck off, at least the impact will be minimal since those older works were unlikely to receive a proper translation in the first place.

Last edited on 26 July 2024, 23:53.

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