Well that kind of just... abruptly ends.

Base +6, Carweirdo +6, Gventor +6, perdometalum +5, openminded20 +6, anomahous +12, xw1as +9

She grows for no reason, the story ends with no clue, and I fap with no reason.

Last edited on 05 December 2024, 15:09.

Base +6, spencethespider -10, Invisibull Girl +8, gigan +11, werefox22 +7, dankasscrabs +6, Hahlol +5, xw1as +9, Maeriden +8

/g/3154598/5197fa2032/
Guess that's why this one kinda felt MTL to me.

Base +24

Yes, it is proofread MTL, I did try rewriting some weirdly translated dialogues. So if you have any advice for me, I would really appreciate it

Base +5

Well the best advice will amways be to actually learn the language, you don't have to be an expert (I'm far from one myself), just be at least be at the point where you can check the output of the machine rather than having to completely rely on it, though that’s easier said than done.

And if you really are adamant on doing more MTLs, at least do so on old works that are unlikely to be translated at this point to begin with, not stuff that just came out (give it the chance to get a proper translation first). It's not lack there is a lack of things that still need a translation.

(And to be honest, the only reason I suspected it to be MTL in the first place was the editing that reminded me of it, I didn't actually sit down to read the whole thing)

Base +25, DaiyaO +12, TwilightRijax +8, Maeriden +8

Ok thanks, I'll try to stick to old works then, until one day I learn enough Japanese myself. It's just that GTS works of this kind are pretty few and far between, and I was just very impatient for this Moralgear work. So I'm sorry if the translation quality is subpar.

Base +5

tagging rough translation

Base +49

@Torches0307 Alright, I did actually compare some of it with the raw and this is indeed bad, but surprisingly (or unsurprisingly since your not the only one doing that) not because of mistranslations but because of straight up rewrites most of the time, like:

Page 3:
The dialogue “But those are apples” “Shut up!’ is entirely made up
original is just “なにこれ” which is “What’s this (or these here)?”

あまい is sweet, not yummy, but I guess you could say it’s close enough

Everything to the left of the “Food is precious” bubble is stuff he found on his end (referred by こっちも), so “On my end, I…” and not we. This I consider an actual genuine mistake since you wouldn’t know unless you have actual japanese knowledge.

そうだな諦めずに頑張ろう
“Yeah, I don't plan to kick the bucket in some random island.”
Made up, he says “That’s right/Yeah, let’s do our best without giving up”

Then “明日は魚を捕れるか 試してみよう” mean “Let’s try to catch fitch tomorrow” but your translation could be argued as close enough so I’ll give it half a pass.

Page 4
だろー?
“Look yummy”
Wrong speaker + he says “Right?”

Page 5
いや〜それにしてもショウ君ってもっと高身長だと思ってたけど
“Hmm~ you're looking a little short there, shou- kun”
She says she thought he was taller, which makes more sense since she is still the smaller one here.

Then on the next line she just talks about catching up with him, not getting taller.

Page 6:
“I had to take off my hoodie since it somehow shrunk.” not shrunk but got (too) tight.

“For the last time those were apples”
Once again entirely made up, there is no text at all here

Page 8
本当に心当たりはないのか?
“You ate some strange mushroom again, didn't you?”
Made up, he asks if she really has no idea why.

Which made the next lines also more or less made up, she says:
“Not at all” “Before I knew it, I had grown”

After that, I pretty much lost interest, so I stopped here. Please avoid making things up, this is the worst thing you can do.

Base +25, Maeriden +8

Thanks for the comments, I know I deviated from the original for quite a lot of the dialogues. Most are because I couldn't typeset the proper translation into the bubble, so I tweaked it a bit, or rewrote the translation to make it fit. Some of the mistakes are because the translation got lost in MTL, but most of them are my deliberate edits. Admittedly I did make some of them up, thinking it would fit into the story, or make the heroine sounds more teasy, or add a bit of comedy. I really thought I did a decent job at them but I guess that would count as a rewrite. That's my bad, I didn't know the translation etiquette requires the translation to follow the original so closely. I'll fix the mistakes and reupload. I guess that's to be expected from a MTL first timer... Thanks again for pointing out my mistakes and for reviewing the translation.

Edit: I reuploaded a fix, a few lines are still paraphrased, I hope they're not too jarring...

Last edited on 15 December 2024, 13:00.

Base +5

It doesn’t have to be a 1:1 translation (otherwise, you might run into the opposite problem of the translation feeling too stiff, though it’s still better than an inaccurate one). Adapting the text for an English audience is fine and is what you should aim for, but it still has to convey the same meaning as the original. Don’t make the characters say things they didn’t say at all in the first place.

Like for example page 5:
“I haven't grown at all for ages! So what's with the sudden growth spurt?”
It’s not a 1:1 what she said, but the core meaning is still there.

However, on page 8 (on the previous version), you say:
“You ate some strange mushroom again, didn't you?”
When he actually says “Do you really have no idea?”, then that becomes a rewrite completely different from the original.

“I guess that's to be expected from a MTL first timer…”
If the machine gives you the correct translation, but you still choose to make up your own lines, that’s not the machine’s fault, that’s on you.

I decided to check out the rest as well since you're willing to do corrections, so here you go:

Page 9
いいから付いてきて
“It's fine, just relax”
Rather than just "relax," it’s more like “just come along with me,” “follow me,” or “go along with it.”

Page 10

You could have kept the “gurgle”, since it’s in the original

“unreliable” was also fine. “reckless” is not exactly the same thing.

私がショウ君を護ってあげるから

“It's my turn to protect the two of us, shou-kun.”
“you” rather than “the two of us”, but I guess that’s close enough

Page 15
“These huge boobs are in the way”
She just says “(Wow,) my boobs are huge!”

“ショウ君大丈夫!?おっぱいで潰れてない!?”
“There you are! Thank god you didn't get crushed by my boobs!”
“Shou-kun, are you okay!? You didn’t get crushed by my boobs!?”

“よかった!怪我してない?”
“I'm glad you're all fine!”
She’s asking here: “Thank goodness! You're not hurt/Are you hurt?”

“死ぬかと思ったけどなんとかな”
“I saw the light, but then it turned pitch black.”
The original is closer to “I thought I was a goner, but I made it somehow.”
Maybe you could argue yours is close enough? It’s hard to tell.

Page 16
それにさすがに 大きくなり過ぎだよね...
“And for growing too big on a whim.”
More like "Besides/and, I guess I’ve really grown too big after all, didn’t I…"
Or just “I guess I've really grown too big, didn’t I…” for short

“In both senses haha…” is entirely made up, there is no text here.

Page 17
“興奮したからか身体が火照って”
“No way! Can it be because I got so excited just now!?” It’s missing the “身体が火照って” part, so it’s more like “Is it because I got excited? My body feels all hot.”

Compared to the previous version, there’s nothing extremely bad, except the added text that wasn't here in the first place.

Base +25, Maeriden +8

I see this has been updated again... but I do not think I see any differences. Is someone willing to tell me what the differences are because they must be minute for me not to see them out of hand.

Base +6

@moodyclaus Thanks taking your time to review and point those out, I'll go fix them when I have the time. After paying attention to some proper translated works, I realized there's no need to fit the text to the speech bubble shape at all (that's an advice I read somewhere). So now my OCD doesn't need to omit or tweak the dialogue to fit the bubble general shape anymore.

And @Nickballas, it's some minor translation fixes. It's my bad for deviating/making things up too much from the original text. I'm sorry if the constant reupload is bothersome.

Update: I decided to reupload a translation fix it immediately lest the reupload is going to bother more people. Hopefully this is the last fix, sorry everyone for the trouble.

Last edited on 16 December 2024, 03:16.

Base +5, Gracken +7

@Torches0307 I do not mind you trying to fix your work. I just did not see any differences right away. Also I will not hold wanting to make sure your work is the best it can be against you. I just asked out of curiosity.

Base +6

@Nickballas Thanks, It's just my first time posting, and since I don't really know the norms and how things work, I'm just pretty fidgety.

Base +5

@Nickballas Yeah I forgot to mention that it is good practice when you update to put in the gallery description what the update is for since while I do think fixing mistranslations is worth an update, it isn't usually worth a reread.

@Torches0307 It's good for me, anything more than that would be nitpicking at this point.

Base +25

Good to know @moodyclaus, thanks for your help and your time. I think I'm gonna stop doing these MTL things, it seems MTL is very frowned upon here, no matter if it's pure or proofread. I reckon I will actually learn Japanese before getting back to this translating business. Sigh... I really thought people would have liked to see a not-so-good translation rather than not at all, but it seems MTL is a devil that should burn in hell at the moment.

Edit: Oh and for the gallery description thing, I did put it in the second time I reuploaded (the version with sfx translated), it says it would show in the comments, but nothing was there, so I thought it didn't work at all, and I stopped putting it in the last few times.

Base +5, kotaku64564 +6