Newdog15 is a comedic response to Olddog's notorious rewrites. He's fluent in thesaurus-foo and can juxtapose with the best of 'em. He often rewrites things that are already translated because Olddog insists on doing the same idiotic thing. If you're thinking of masturbating during a Newdog rewrite, you're doin' it wrong. It's purely for the laughs. A lot of people don't understand that and end up givin' them one star without so much as a thorough read. And some don't know he's a parody and think he's honestly a jackrabbit.
Take a break from your penis and breathe. Let the silliness fill your lungs.