I'd offer constructive criticism, but there isn't enough content here to build off of. The art looks like it's done in MS Paint, and the 'story' consists of a short dream sequence about some boring, too-short porn. There's no build up, no pay off, and as a result it feels like it was made for no other reason than to show off the characters. Combined with the needless cover and page of pseudo-poetry, the entire thing comes off as an egotistical cry for attention. It would probably be better off on deviantart than here.