Kobayashi is the best

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Yer porn books make you laid

Only in hentaiverse

Base +6, darkuu +6, gtff +6, Maxsteele +7, kaitouyami +5, lancehedrey +6, Zantos +6, ExManslayer +5, Acevhg +6, BartSSJ +8, horror6 +6, evilDragonn +1, Hugh Jarse +6, and 1 more...

This is more of an awkward translation rather than a collection of poor grammar. There are only 5 mistakes in 20 pages; this is a huge improvement. The mistakes are still mostly the "interrogatives."

But then again, the criterion for the poor grammar tag is 10 mistakes in 40 pages... You guys be the judge.

Technical errors:
p41: "These porn books are what’s left over and what is going to be thrown out" - Inconsistent linking verbs. “These porn books are what’re left over and what are going to be thrown out.”
p42: "Your sister is going to be embarrassed!?" - Exclamatory sentence.
p45: "Then, you can practice with my body?" - Declarative sentence.
p50: "I won’t hate it? I’m going to take care of your big and hard dick until the very end?" - Pretty sure those are supposed to be declarative sentences.
p54: "With this, you can get a good view?" - Bad interrogative sentence structure. “Can you get a good view with this position?”

Awkward/possible literal translation issues:
p42: "I knocked. But, you didn’t leave your room." - Leaving the room doesn’t make sense. “I knocked, but you didn’t answer.”
p42: "We’re having curry for dinner." - This is correct, but somewhat abrupt as it doesn't really express that it's dinnertime. “It’s time for dinner. We’re having curry.”
p42: "Dinner has been made." - Strange since it’s coming from Kousuke. Probably supposed to be “So it’s dinnertime, huh?”
p43: "That reminds me… You like little girls. Ah! But, their boobs are the only thing that is big." - “The only thing that is big” seems to contradict the concept of “little girls.” I don’t know how much this will change the original line, but “That reminds me, you like little girls. Ah, but their boobs are big.”
p54: "Why did you think of me as someone who only has busty loli books?" - Grammatically correct but somewhat contextually awkward since he’s confessing the reason for his fetish here. “Why do you think I only have books with busty lolis?”
p60: "From now on, have plenty of sex." - She’s telling him to have plenty of sex WITH HER. This line sounds as if she’s giving him permission to fuck everything in sight. “From now on let’s have plenty of sex” or “From now on have plenty of sex with me.”

Unclear:
p48: "I… I won’t take a bath with you!" - Is she threatening him here?

Last edited on 22 November 2014, 10:41.

Base +8, svines85 -6, Maxsteele +7, narc123 +6, Drous +6, kuukiyome +8, RAGE1 +14, fappingfury +7, Zantos -6, alkopone +5, Sadinotna +6, danpikachu -7, nolol111 -6, and 12 more...

I don't see any paizuri :/

Base +5

Man, this is how I feel when I try to sort my downloaded stuff.

Base +9, ExManslayer +5