Mai Favorite [English] [Rewrite] [Tremalkinger]

Posted on 14 September 2016, 06:33 by: blunt005

Posting rewrites is stupid tbh

Posted on 14 September 2016, 08:35 by: sonictmp

There was no point in this. It's long been translated, uncensored and colorized in some cases. This has to be one of the most worthless things ever done. Why can't we vote to pruge this crap off the database?

Posted on 14 September 2016, 09:36 by: yetsun

Why would anyone take the time to rewrite something that's already been translated? Waste of time and effort.

Posted on 14 September 2016, 12:27 by: magictoaster

Guys, aren't you being a little too harsh on this? I mean, two of the main problems with rewrites are horrible writing and horrible typesetting. This has typesetting that looks like a normal translated manga and the writing is alright by hentai standards.

Actually I'm wondering how many people here downvoted or commented here without even looking at a single page?

Posted on 14 September 2016, 14:39 by: Zweihaender

@magictoaster:
Any Shit-rite is an INSULT to the author.

Why shit-rite over a translated (even banned), uncensored and already great story? Insulting translator mybe. the story has no sense since the first panel.

Posted on 14 September 2016, 15:01 by: FakeMoriSummer

The order does not seem right. Example, pg 5 here is pg 16 in the uncensored version.

Posted on 14 September 2016, 15:32 by: N00bisZed

@magictoaster

do you hand out ribbons for breathing? Being patronizing to such a lazy effort is worthless. Just because the idiot took the effort to shuffle a few pages around to fit his retarded plot doesn't mean he deserves any praise.

Posted on 14 September 2016, 17:05 by: wilson1

It's funny

Posted on 14 September 2016, 17:27 by: Mrsuperhappy

Regardless of peoples opinion on rewrites, they are not against the rules and not expungeable.

https://ehwiki.org/wiki/expunge#Bad_Reasons_To_Expunge

Rewrites and redraws are permitted.

Posted on 14 September 2016, 20:26 by: satanpants

Extremely excited till I saw rewrite, them I was very unexcited.

Posted on 14 September 2016, 22:59 by: mt ohara

Well, to each their own.

Objectively speaking - assuming if anyone actually read it - it wasn't bad at all.

Not going to claim this is better than the original, but at least it was done with an air of respect towards the original source.

Posted on 15 September 2016, 03:39 by: Chinro

I love the work Tremalkinger does but I'm not a big fan of rewrites for personal reasons: in my head I constantly hear "this is not the match of artwork and plot the author intended" distracting from any quality of rewrite if it exists. I love those fetishes you included too but it feels like cheating putting them in work that does not include them when there are plenty who do.

I hope you don't get discouraged from all your work by the reactions here, it's just not a good climate for this sort of thing no matter your intentions or effort.

Last edited on 16 September 2016, 03:55.

Posted on 15 September 2016, 03:59 by: JackMorrison

Original fully translated and decensored by the Legendary Saha tank here:
/g/205191/5f231d0a79/

Point being, don't waste your time on this lousy rewrite. It's not 2008.

Posted on 15 September 2016, 15:17 by: anaxagoras

I read it all without knowing it was a rewrite and wouldn't have found out if I hadn't taken a proper look at the title and tags afterwards. The fact that while reading nothing seemed strange is a testament to the quality of the rewrite, in my opinion.

Of course I'll check the original now, but I won't raise any pitchforks. This was a pretty good read, rewrite or not.
____
Edit: What do you know? I actually liked the rewrite more than the original! Choosing a wife among them while everyone tries their best, the relationships between the enemy clans, accepting Nana despite the horrible things her family did to her, and in the end everyone of them willingly becoming concubines. This was a whole lot better than sex maids with "reception" duties and the idea they all would be getting fucked by ugly old men frequenty.

For me, this rewrite shall be canon.

Posted on 15 September 2016, 19:27 by: Tremalkinger

@anaxagoras

Well, if at least one person enjoyed it, I figure it was worth the effort ^_^

Now back to working on my latest orc/elf translation. I never had any intention of making more rewrites, whether people like this or not. Translation is my thing.

Last edited on 15 September 2016, 19:43.

Posted on 18 September 2016, 03:08 by: gearsky

I'm going to start this off by saying that I generally hate rewrites, almost on principal. I only gave this a chance on a whim. Then I saw the note at the beginning, and I thought: "Hey, this might actually turn out well."

I was not disappointed.

Some of the biggest problems I've found with rewrites are shitty grammar and typesetting, stupid character names (like a brother and sister named Tommy and Tomina or some such shit), and forced scenarios that don't fit the art used.
In this one, however, the grammar was good and the typesetting decent, the character names felt natural, and the story seemed reasonably thought out. I think that Tremalkinger did a good job pairing the story to the art, and made good use of editing to achieve that; changing the page order to better match image with words.The ovulation and pregnancy tests were edited in with a noticeable degree of skill and, while it's not seamless (I was still able to, with little difficulty, tell that they were edited in), it's still a far-cry from being a glaringly obvious hack job so blatant as to visually disrupt the story.

All-in-all, while not perfect, this was a good read. I think that many of the people here who are downvoting and ranting about how horrible it is might change their minds if they actually read it (preferably without the "Rewrite! Kill it with fire!" attitude that, let's face it, we all get the moment we see the tag).

Posted on 30 September 2016, 20:28 by: 絶通原田

TO THE SHADOW REALM

Posted on 29 October 2016, 10:49 by: Fredinator

I like the rewrite more then the original

Posted on 09 November 2016, 04:55 by: SjachIxen

All this hate over something so silly...

It feels like people are dogpiling it on the mechanics of how it was created, rather than the contents of the product. It's a transformative work: anybody who hates rewrites on principle rather than content would also need to excuse themselves from art collection books, trade paperbacks, machinima, let's plays, abridged series, and countless other works being taken out of the context of the source material.

...

Now that I've said that... I'd give it a 2.5 out of 5, while the original gets a 2.

Posted on 02 February 2017, 00:58 by: anooba

Liked it more than the original. Logged in just to vote and comment on this.

Posted on 16 February 2017, 12:23 by: KanojoMaster

I found this rewrite supremely erotic and it has been in my favourites (pun not intended) for a long time. Virgin harems FTW!
In fact, I registered to send this comment and to download the archive. ;) I'd love to check out similar rewrites in the future, as long as the quality is as high as it is here. I especially loved how you changed the scene where Aki and Megumi were introduced, and "do you enjoy this old hag's virgin pussy" resonated with me deeply for some reason. Also, to me the whole situation in this rewrite is more erotic: Instead of the girls basically being glorified whores, they are all there to serve the main character's needs and desires. Them being virgins means that sex with them is absolutely safe and because they want to get pregnant, cumming inside isn't potrayed as a problem to avoid but a goal. And a sweet goal it is!
Basically, 5/5, have already read again tens of times. ^_^

Posted on 03 June 2018, 15:02 by: tamanwah

actually, it is kinda interesting~~ but, it is kinda disappointed that you didnt include that ntr/ cheating scene of mai with MC's frens that MC was dreaming... i was waiting to see how u will insert that part in...

Last edited on 03 June 2018, 15:28.

Posted on 18 March 2020, 02:42 by: Rocket 4000

Downvoting a Labled rewrite is illogical. In no way do they insult original author and I not offended by the thousands of variations of
Shakespeare plays. f you don't like rewrites don't read them. Rewrite's that are not labeled would be offensive.The following was not advertised as a massive change, I am still outraged about the fantastic Star Ship Trooper book was dumbed down switching from powered armor able to jump over buildings with dozens of bombs to drop and nuclear rocket launchers to troops more poorly ran than modern military not in armor. The enemy in the books was intelligent bugs who built starships and fought with ranged weapon armed troops, they used nuclear weapons too and negotiated to have an ally. And the changes made by someone who hated the books and did not even understand the political system in the books which was not the rich ran dictatorship of the movies,

I think this is a superior story to the original now that I have read both. Fairly rare for me to think that and normally when the rewrite makes it full incest when the original does not makes seam correct without incest.

Last edited on 24 March 2020, 15:31.

Posted on 26 July 2024, 08:50 by: Sukarn0

Liked this rewrite better than the original, I like the emphasis on marriage and how even at the beginning Shoutarou is expected to impregnate all of them.
The last few pages were just phenomenal. Shoutarou is honest and chooses what he wants, and Mai is chagrined but accepts it, because she loves him even when he’s THAT kind of man.

Posted:	2016-09-14 04:56
Parent:	None
Visible:	Yes
Language:	English RW
File Size:	71.30 MiB
Length:	118 pages
Favorited:	584 times

language:	english rewrite
artist:	kisaragi gunma
male:	condom dilf schoolboy uniform virginity
female:	anal big breasts cheating defloration double penetration glasses harem impregnation maid nakadashi paizuri stockings swimsuit
mixed:	ffm threesome group
other:	story arc

Rating:		355
Average: 2.35

Mai Favorite [English] [Rewrite] [Tremalkinger]

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