raw: /g/1922622/21ab03b79d/
Another beautiful work from Miyama-sensei.

Revised with the help from kind strangers.

*runs and grabs insulin*

Base +8, wootwoot123 +6, Gabs999 +6, alan19 +6, ghostvortex100 +6, your_name +6, DerpyHerpaDerp +6, LettermanZA +6, blank415 +7

> Notice me if there's any typo and grammatical mistake.
Not a proofreader or anything, just bilingual since grade school. Let's look at the first three pages...

Pg.1
"is also my line of work" --> "is also part of my work".
"Do you have any plan after this?" --> "Do you have any plans after this?"

Pg.2
"one month ago" --> "a month ago"

Pg.3
"It was holiday" --> "It was a holiday"
"There are so many people, yet nobody is willing to help her." --> "There's so many people, yet nobody's willing to help her."
"Let's get out from here first" --> "Let's get out of here first"
"She ran out of home" --> "She ran away from home"

"Marriage talk" --> the term sounds clunky TBH. I wonder if "arranged marriage" is a better term, though you need to restructure the entire sentence.

"my father find out" --> "my father finds out"

Base +8, spicaworks +6, Mimung +6, asurast +8, dankestdungeon +20, Handelius -8, aensfw +6, viniccius36 +5, forgetful_coder +6, funk_u_up +13, alllifeinfate +6, Cadavrus +6, PinguPrin +7

'There are no people' is technically correct since 'people' is plural and 'is' is for singular ("There are five big, veiny cocks" vs "There is a big, veiny cock") , though quite a lot of people speak like how you've corrected it I've noticed. Language shift I guess.

Base +6, as102 +11, spicaworks +6, Stoicism +6

Detected a few more grammatical errors. Corrections will also be provided:

1. "Even if you're a princess, you got no special treatment here." - "Even if you're a princess, you get no special treatment here".

2. "This meal... you did?" - "So you made this meal... " (I based it from how the sentence worked in the original Japanese as it didn't seem to be interrogative.)

3. "I get you dirty again" - "I got you dirty again."

4. "Accepting my father's condition, marrying into Kaminomiya family" - "Accepting my father's condition, marrying into the Kaminomiya family?"

5. "Masaomi-san, you big stupid" - "Masaomi-san, you idiot.'

6. "I took a day off for weekend" - "I took a weekend off".

7. "Another sex like that is prohibited, okay?" - "That sex act is prohibited, okay?"

Base +7, spicaworks +6, Cadavrus +6, xianyuekun +6, Jenna Tolls +3

My English teacher would slap me if she ever saw me use "There is so many people". Yet the number (yes, not amount) of people I have seen use "there is" for almost everything is mind-boggling. I do understand however that it's a lot easier to say "there's" than "there are" and that's probably the reason why people keep using it incorrectly.
Anyway, the first thing I noticed about this translation is the lack of punctuation. Gotta fix that.

Base +23, PsychicDoom +6, firedragoon145 +6, your_name +6, Stoicism +6, PinguPrin +7, knightdtd +10, xchemistry +6, Jenna Tolls +3

I mean, finally no hardcore ntr thing for a while, sorta good for mental health.

Base +5, Kiranta +6, rosegun +6, Bebek_War +7, your_name +6, Reasons2B +6

Poor girl at the start, we didnt even get her name

Base +7, Knife Prty +7, your_name +6, Clаude +6

@Ass Spanker
@PieWeaver

"There are so many people" is indeed correct, but too formal and stiff. I was aiming closer to casual English usage.

Perhaps removing "there are" in the first place, so that it becomes "So many people, yet nobody's willing to help her" or maybe even shortening it to "So many people, but nobody's helping her" would get the point across without being too wordy.

Base +8, firedragoon145 -6, Stoicism -6, BlueSmoke -7, knightdtd -10

Personally don't think 'there are' is stiff or anything but that might depend on dialect, I'm UK South Coast, no clue about US. It's weird to me that 'there're' isn't more common though. I don't think I've ever seen it written even though it is spoken.

Base +6, inser_name_here92 +6, Stoicism +6

"There's" is much easier to vocalize as a contraction; "there're" has a weird stop that doesn't usually show up in English, and is uncommon enough among speakers that my spell check doesn't recognize it. So, "There's so many people" works at least in casual speech.

The un-contracted "There is so many people" is obviously grammatically incorrect. It would probably be hard to distinguish from "there's" when spoken unless the speaker was making a point to enunciate it, but when written it's glaring.

Base +6, Stoicism -6

@ Ass Spanker

There was hardly any punctuation marks in the original Japanese.

Base +7

@Mr. Ghost

I was gonna type something along the line of "even though there might be no punctuation marks in the raw, it's considered professional to end sentences with ending marks" in my original comment but I couldn't be bothered to do that on a phone. But yea, that's my point. I guess it's a stylistic choice thing and depends on the translator.

Base +23

In the last panel, the original "Another sex like that is prohibited, okay?" line, even if gramatically... not perfect, made more sense that the correction. She is talking about no more crazy sex like that day for a while, not about any particular sex act. I'd use something like "more sex like that..." instead.

Base +13

instead of reading it with the dick in hand i ended reading it with insulin in hand

Base +6

Punctuation as we know it literally a foreign concept to the Japanese language. So the raw will rarely have any, adding it in the translation would be considered proper English but it is really easy to overlook (I
made sure to have a grammar nazi involved with proofreading to get really triggered whenever I forget it somewhere myself) and some translators ignore it on purpose as a stylistic choice, I'd personally go with what feels best in context.

Last edited on 19 January 2022, 21:12.

Base +8

Some of the "corrections" suggested here are actually disfiguring the meaning of what is being said.

For example, on the last page, "Another sex like that is prohibited, okay?" was actually BETTER than the new suggestion "That sex act is prohibited, okay?"

She's not saying that the "sex act" (WTF) is "prohibited". She's saying she doesn't want him to use sex again to gloss over her expressing her feelings of loneliness.

Base +6