Hello everyone this is a project that i was doing since two months ago... and it was really hard, not the translation, the cleaning and typesetting was a hell, in the end some moans i leave like in japanese.... sorry.

And well, just that this is my first Rbooks translation i hope i nthe future there will be more.

Read the page 2 please!!

Also visit my blog for DD updates :)

http://haoscanlationsrepo.blogspot.com

>and it was really hard, not the translation

Yeah, you probably should have spent some more effort on that because the grammar is horrible.

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Holy poor grammar tags batman!

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I've seen worse grammar, but it seems you need more work on your Japanese. I can't translate for shit so I can't help you with that. But hey, at least you're willing to learn and improve.

Grammatical errors:
p3: “Everyone is here?” - Bad interrogative structure. “Is everyone here?
p3: “I haven’t heard anything about this, then?” - She’s asking why she isn’t aware. “Why have I not heard anything about this?”
p6: “Everyone has finish?” - Wrong tense and awkward structure. “Has everyone put it on?”
p6: “The size is fine?” - Bad interrogative structure. “Is the size fine?”
p11: “How about all get nude?” - “How about you all get nude?”
p12: “Put your hands in the wall.” - Wrong preposition. “Put your hands on the wall.”
p16: “Between you two have to take care of this.” - I’m guessing this should be “You have to take this between the two of you.” As in he’s asking them to sandwich his dick.
p21: “Now, you have the honor of have my ejaculation pattern in your body.” Wrong tense and wrong preposition. “You now have the honor of having my ejaculation pattern printed on your bodies." I guess?
p21: “What a incredible smell.” - “What an incredible smell.”
p22: “Looks like this are love juices” - “Looks like love juice.”
p24: “With that mouth you must to clean me.” - “With that mouth you must clean me.”
p27: “Maybe they grow bigger.” - “Maybe they’ll grow bigger.” or “They might grow bigger.”
p31: “He will really do it?” - Awkward interrogative structure. “Will he really do it?” or “Is he really going to do it?”
p32: “The, to start, let’s do a check first.” - “To start, let’s do a check.”
p34: “Cummed.” - I’m pretty sure the past tense of “cum” is “came.”
p34: “I’ll put it deepest.” - “I’ll go all the way in.”
p35: “I will slowly put it deeper.” - “I will slowly push in deeper.”
p36: “You will give the example to everyone!” - “You will be an example to everyone!”
p37: “If we do this, I can take it deeper.” - He’s referencing the position, and he’s not doing the taking. “If we do it like this, I can go deeper.”
p38: “It’s quite tightened.” - “It’s gotten quite tighter” I guess.
p40: “You let me see it clearly, won’t you.” - Awkward interrogative. “Won’t you let me see it clearly?”
p40: “You’re properly fertilized?” - Awkward interrogative. “Have you been properly fertilized?”
p41: “Where I put it?” - Bad structure, and it doesn’t emphasize the fact that he’s choosing between the two of them. “Who will I do?”
p42: “Decided in Nakamori!” - Really awkward. “I’ve decided: Nakamori!” or even “Nakamori, I choose you!” for the lulz.
p43: “I didn’t expect that you were virgin.” - “I didn’t expect that you were a virgin.”
p44: “It stuffed in completely!” - “It’s completely inside!”
p45: “It entered to the bottom, isn’t it?” - Awkward interrogative. “It’s gone all the way in, huh?”
p46: “Pile up each other you two.” - “Lie on top of her” seems to be more appropriate.
p52: “You want that I put it inside you?” - “Do you want me to put it inside you?”
p53: “You suddenly become obedient.” - Wrong tense. “You’ve suddenly become obedient” or “You suddenly became obedient” or “You’re suddenly obedient” or “You’re obedient all of a sudden.”
p53: “You are virgin?” - Bad interrogative structure. “Are you a virgin.”
p54: “ Do you want to have children’s with sensei?” - “Children” is already plural. “Do you want to have children with sensei?” or “Do you want to have sensei’s children?”
p59: “I cummed a lot!” - “I came a lot!”
p59: “I’m going to do it in you asshole too!” - Possessive pronoun. “I’m going to do it in your asshole, too!”
p59: “I’m having children’s!” - Again, “children” is already plural. “I’m having children!” or “I’m making babies!” for impact.
p60: “With this I fulfill the quota.” - “With this I have fulfilled the quota.”

Grammatically correct, but contextually awkward:
p2: “Ah~ It’s true, it’s true.” - “Ah~ That’s right, I forgot.”
p2: “The girls stay for a while” - This is correct, but it is supposed to be an order. “The girls should stay for a while.”
p2: “I want to leave fast” - “I want to leave early.”
p7: “Is that, that choker and…” - The second “that” can be eliminated, but I’m guessing this is some speech tick.
p9: “I can’t take it.” - “I can’t take it off.”
p16: “That’s not how it is.” - That’s not how it should be.”
p30: “Don’t move!” - This is correct, but here she’s telling her body not to move; the line you used can be interpreted as her asking the teacher not to move. “Don’t move, my body!” (note the comma) will probably suffice.
p43: “You’re pretty sensible, right?” - I’m assuming “sensible” is the correct word. “Turns out you are pretty sensible, huh?”
p47: “What do you think of your asshole?” - Probably lost in translation.
p55: “Make her grumble.” - “Make her moan.”
Whole manga: “Understand it.”

------------------------
Regarding the manga itself: I usually enjoy stuff like this, but I found this manga to be quite... Underwhelming.

Last edited on 13 June 2015, 07:18.

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>"Greet!"
Really?

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Page 18:

シゴけ [shigoke]

シゴけ → 扱く 【しごく】 [shigoku] to draw through one's hand, to stroke, to work someone hard

The opposite kana (Katakana) places emphasis on that part of the word.
The ke more or less makes it an order, rather then a statement.

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Kudos to Haolen for accepting constructive criticism and putting forth the effort to improve his work. That willingness really is the difference between a good release and a hated Laruffi train wreck.
And a thank you to aurumauriga for his edits. Excellent work guys.

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The translation is 100% comprehensible and more than passable, definitely not deserving of all the stupid nit-picking complaints here. As for the manga, my only real complaint is the lack of cross-sectional scenes.

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He truly is a Japanese patriot.

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Good job, great translation, hope you can translate the other works of this great artist

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